Interview with Kristy Berridge

For those unaware, we are privileged to have one of the most talented Australian authors within our midst. Kristy Berridge is the author of such novels as "The Hunted," "The Damned" and most recently "Diary of a Teenage Zombie."  Possessing the ability to write original supernatural fiction novels is among her many talents.  My favourite thing about Kristy's work is that I know it will be nothing like I have read before.  To celebrate her recent book release of  "Diary of a Teenage Zombie," (of which I am totally in love with!) I have asked her to do an interview for my blog so that I can share her creations with the world.  My interview with the lovely Kristy Berridge, went a little something like this......

If you could work with any author who would it be? 

I have absolutely no idea. Writing is very much a solo act. So to collaborate with someone might actually annoy me, but I’d love to pick Stephen King’ s brain, find out where all those kooky ideas come from.

Who is your favourite author and is your writing style similar to theirs? 
I love Richelle Mead, and though I’d love to say I was as talented with the written word as she, I think we all have our positives and negatives.

What do you think people search for in a book?
Total immersion—a chance to escape reality for just a little while.

Did you always want to write?
I’ve always had an interest in writing, but no. I’m actually a fully trained Interior Designer, so creativity does run through my veins.

Do you have any advice for other writers? 

Read as much as you can, never think you are so good that advice is unwarranted, and always make sure you have a fabulous editor. If they’re good, they’ll tell you when you’re not, but also offer the best advice on how to fix it.

When and why did you begin writing?
I started writing about seven years ago now, and truthfully it was to abate boredom. I’d always had an interest, an idea bloomed, and since I was sitting in front of a computer at the time, boom, the magic happened and I couldn’t seem to stop.

Which is your favourite of the books you have written?
Tricky, tricky. I love The Damned in the Hunted series because the story finally grabs its momentum, but I’m especially proud of Diary of a Teenage Zombie. I feel good about the humour, the plot and characters.

What do you think makes a good story?
Good ideas, good editing and trust in the reader’s ability to interpret your vision without constant repetition.

What about the horror genre interests you?
Are you kidding? Everything.

Do you remember the first horror book that you ever read?
RL Stine’s ‘Goosebumps’ series. I absolutely adored these as a kid, but quickly moved onto the likes of Dean Koontz and Stephen King before long.

How do you react to a bad review of one of your books?
You have to take it in your stride. Not everyone is going to appreciate your efforts and that’s okay. I always contact the person in question, thank them for taking the time to read and review the novel and wish them the best of luck. It’s worked well for me so far, and I often receive some feedback that helps me to reassess my own writing.

What book are you reading now?
I’m being lazy and not really reading anything at all at the moment.

How do you cope with writers block?
I’ve never suffered from writer’s block because I always jot down ideas when they come to me, so there’s something to work with in dryer moments of incoming inspiration.

If you were writing a book about your life, what would the title be?
Kristy Berridge?

My life is an ongoing novel, so the question mark pretty much covers every new day and the unknowns I’ll undoubtedly face. It’s exciting though.

I suspect I’d come up with a much better name given the time and the desire to do so J

Who is your favourite character(s) in any of your works? And why?
I love Lucas Manory. He was written as a supporting role to Elena in my Hunted series, but is fast developing his own agenda and blossoming personality. He’s very likeable on so many levels.

How do you feel while you're writing? 
At peace, though I feel as if all I do is edit lately grrrr.

What was the hardest part of writing for you?Marketing and promotion. Honestly, I’m rubbish at it. I want the books to sell themselves and that’s not exactly realistic, or so people keep telling me LOL!

How do you keep your plots unpredictable without sacrificing believability?
Why thank you, and I’m not entirely sure how to answer that. All I can say is that I really put myself in the character’s shoes and think about who they are, what they think, feel or do in any given situation. If it seems ridiculous, then it probably is.

How can readers discover more about you and your work?

Website: http://www.kristyberridge.com/

Blog: http://kristyberridge.blogspot.com.au/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Hunted/116951581718393

Twitter: https://twitter.com/KristyBerridge

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/kristyberridge/

Goodreads:http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4962350.Kristy_Berridge

Look out for these best sellers at a store near you!

THE DAMNED—Book Description 

Life for Elena Manory skipped past ordinary just over a month ago. Discovering she was born a practically invulnerable vampire-werewolf hybrid was shocking enough; but she’s also become a target, hunted by an Alpha werewolf known as Roshan, who’s fixated on the properties of her unique blood and the pleasurable possibilities of her flesh. Moving to the Institute of Magical Intervention in Romania was supposed to provide her with protection and anonymity, but Elena soon realises her enemies are legion. No one is who they seem, no agenda truly without nefarious intentions. A strange twist of fate and the actions of a vampire previously pressing for her affections lead Elena into the arms of another—one whose middle name spells trouble. Himself a vampire, Sebastian is handsome, arrogant, and perplexingly familiar. He introduces Elena to a world she never thought possible, uncovers a past believed buried, and unearths a future she may not survive.

DIARY OF A TEENAGE ZOMBIE—Book Description

Dear Diary. Today I ate the mailman. My bad. 

Being seventeen is hard – Katie Palmer has to deal with school, pimples, hormonal boys, and malicious cheerleaders. After the Zombie Apocalypse, though, she no longer sweats the usual teenage drama. 
Athletics star by day and flesh-eater by night, Katie’s done well to hide her transformation from friends and Zone-sanctioned security, but now someone or something’s onto her secret and if she doesn’t feed soon she’ll start falling apart. 
Dead bodies are piling up and all the evidence points to Katie’s blood-stained hands. Will she end up killing the competition before security discovers she’s rotten underneath?

I Don't Like Cricket, Oh no.. I Love It!

With enormous pride coursing through my veins after Shane Watson's outstanding and admirable performance for the Australian Cricket Team in the first day of the Fifth Test at The Oval yesterday, I have been left with the urge to post something Cricket.  Watson copped a ball just below the ear coming at him at 88mph at the hands of England's Stuart Broad.  I always get a little nervous when Broad's up to bowl but now it will be for a whole different reason.  Watson went on to make his career best of 176 runs, which in my opinion should go down in the history books after a blow like that.  What a trooper! I could write all day about how Shane Watson is the best all-rounder cricketer around, but I sadly think I would be the only one who would get anything out of it or read it for that matter.  So......

Have you found yourself in a relationship where your partner is obsessed with watching the Cricket?  I myself was in this situation a couple of years ago... and then I actually started paying attention and walked out with a love of cricket that my next partner will have to tolerate.  (*Inserts evil laugh here*) Cricket in someway has always been part of my family as my granddad used to play and umpire, but it wasn't until I met a cricket obsessed boyfriend that I even bothered to give it the time of day.  Little by little I picked up things while watching, but why not take a few minutes now to learn some basics that are sure to impress your partner.  I will admit in Cricket, there is much to learn, but what I have found is that the more I learn the more I enjoy the game.  So next time your partner tries to explain to you what is happening, you can knock their socks off and finish their sentence.  Of course there will still be much to learn but it can't hurt to start here.

To start with TERMINOLOGY:-

• "Stump" - A stump is the three vertical posts that form the wicket. 
• "Off Stump" - Is the stump on the offside of the wicket.  Or better described as the same side of the batsman's bat. (this can change depending on if the batsmen are left or right handed.) 
• "Middle Stump" - Is the center stump as per names suggestion.
• "Leg Stump" - Is the stump on the onside of the wicket.  Which means the same side as the batsman's leg. (also can change depending on if the batsmen are left or right handed.)
• "Stumps" - Is also a term that is used to indicate the end of a days play.
• "No ball" - Is a ball delivered incorrectly and becomes a penalty to the fielding team.  The batting side receives an additional run and another ball must be bowled in its place. 
• "Beamer" - Is a ball that does not bounce and passes above the batsman's waist height.  The penalty of a beamer is an instant no ball. 
• "Wide Ball" - A wide ball is a delivery of the ball either too wide or high for a batsman to hit.  This is determined by the umpire.
• "Third Umpire" - the third umpire is an off field umpire, also known as a TV umpire.  This umpire makes final decisions on questions passed on to him by the two umpires on the field.  
• "Hat Trick" - A hat trick, not to be mistaken with a velvet hat trick LOL, is when a bowler takes out 3 wickets one after another. 
  

Now for the BASICS:-

• There are 11 players per side.
• Each turn to bat while the other team fields is known as an innings.
• There are 6 balls bowled in an over.
• Boundaries: 4 points are earned when the ball bounces before the barrier. 6 points are earned if the ball goes over the barrier or into the crowed.
• A Test Match has four innings.  Meaning each team bats and fields twice.
• A One Day International (ODI) have a set number of overs that each team face.
• Twenty20 International have 20 overs per side.
• "How's That!" is a phrase yelled out when a fielder believes a batsmen is out.  It is then up to the umpire to make the call.
• A batsmen can be run out or stumped if any part of him or his bat are behind the crease.

And lastly, WAYS A BATSMEN GETS OUT:-

• BOWLED - When a wicket is hit by a bowlers delivery of the ball.  It does not matter if the ball has first touched the bat, glove or any part of the batsmen beforehand.
• CAUGHT - If the ball hits the bat or the batman's hand before being caught by a fielder, they are out.
• TIMED OUT - The next batsman up after the previous batsman is out has 3 minutes to be at the crease ready for play.
• HIT THE BALL TWICE - If the ball is hit twice by the batsman other then for reasoning of protecting his wicket, he is out. 
• HIT WICKET - After a balls delivery if a batsman's body or bat knocks his wicket out, he is out.
• OBSTRUCTING THE FIELD - If a batsman purposely obstructs the opposing team by word or action, he is out.
• RUN OUT - If the wicket is put down whilst the batsman is behind the crease at any time during the play of the ball.
• STUMPED - If the batsmen is out of his crease and not attempting to run the wicket keeper can put down the wicket resulting in the batsmen being out.
• LEG BEFORE WICKET (LBW) - The fielding side is entitled to appeal if the ball hits any part of the batsman (with the exception of the hand holding the bat) but would have otherwise hit the wicket if the batsman had not been in the way.

Remember, don't be afraid to ask questions.  If it's something they are passionate about they will be more then willing to teach you all they know.  And more importantly, impressed by your interest in not only letting them spend date night watching the game, but that you are taking the extra mile and learning about something that is important to them.

And even if I am the only person who will ever read this post.... at least I can look back on the little things I have learnt as a proud Australian Cricket supporter!  And, thank god for commentators and wikipedia :)  I don't like cricket.. oh no, I LOVE IT ! 

The Curse of Unrequited Love

Unrequited love is among the most painful things that one can feel and unfortunately we have all felt the heartache that comes with it at least once in our lives.

To add to this, social media makes it so easy to look into things that are said. You find yourself asking, “What does he/she mean by that?” or “Does that mean he/she is thinking about me.” Or my favourite, “What he/she really means is.” The entirety of it can be exhausting. And because you are feeling something that they are not aware of, it can result in emotional draining. You get defensive over text messages that may very well just be an outcome of you misreading what is written. Or alternatively to this, even making excuses for someone mistreating you.

You distance yourself from the person to ease the hurt and hopefully take away your feelings for them, but instead you find yourself romanticizing them. Focusing on all the things that they would do if you were with them, or even magnifying what they have done in the past, much like you would do in a toxic relationship. You find yourself focusing on the things that they have done in the past or what you hope they would do, rather then what they actually do.

There is no easy way to escape this curse. There is always the option of telling the person your true feelings, which can possibly lead to your feelings being returned, but if this backfires you are left with nothing but rejection. Fear of rejection is ultimately what stops us from expressing our true feelings to the people we have them for. And our lack of belief in ourselves is what leads us to think that we are not remarkable enough for the person of our desires to notice us in any real way.  Some people just aren't ready to let go of the possibilities that can be shattered when those feelings are not returned.

There really are only 2 options:

1.   Tell the person. If they do not feel the same, you no longer have the hope and can take the first steps to moving on with your life and finding someone who can return your feelings.

2.    Keep prolonging the negative feelings that come with your secret until the object of your desire has unknowingly hurt you more then you can handle.

I say, do everything you can to convince yourself to tell your crush how you feel. At least then you know if there is a chance, as opposed to wasting your time hoping that there may be one and trying to find signs of interest or common feelings. Life is too short to play the “what if” game. Nobody likes playing games when it comes to their feelings, so why subject yourself to doing just that? Take the risk and believe that you are worthy of being loved back. If they do not see you for who you are then the only solution to this is finding someone who does. No need to change or downplay yourself just because someone is blind to your worth.

At the end of the day, there really are no answers to this one. Some situations can be stickier then others. Some people just don’t have the option to be able to tell the person of their passion how they feel. Whether it be because your crush is married, in a relationship, a parent of your friend, or even a really close family friend. These situations leave prolonged awkwardness. Not everyone has the opportunity to walk away if things do not go the way they hope. If you have any ideas on how to cope with unrequited love or any personal stories of your own experiences, please share in the comment box below. Your experience may help someone else.

Hens Night Madness!!

Just a quick update of my awesomely fun-filled weekend. There is nothing like a traditional hens night party to bring out all the willies and equally just as much alcohol and girly immature fun :) 

Saturday night found me slipping into my cricket outfit, complete with mini bat, cap and sneakers and enthusiastically playing the part along with my friends with parts of their own: Dee (the nun and bride to be), East (the bad ass biker chick) and Mel (the hot teacher)! 

The night consisted of penis straws and rings, a shirtless waiter, inflatable doodles, a male blow up doll, a pin the willy on the man, a peni piñata filled with condom surprises, ginormous granny undies that read "size matters" (that I did a little dancing in!), terrible karaoke attempts, a blindfold with a winky on it that resulted in my brother pointing out the obvious and calling me a dickhead (Thanks Douggie!) and I can't forget the solo 2013 Ashes cricket score checks throughout the night. 

East and I ended up going into town afterwards with new found confidence and made friends and models out of the security guys at our favourite nightclub. We also discovered fellow costume party goers even more flamboyant then ourselves that were more then happy to pose for pics. Embarrassingly after getting into the club by showing my ID, I was re-carded when getting a drink at the bar. (I still think she was trying to suss out what cricket player I was!!) :) but nothing could have been more embarrassing then discovering I still had my eye mask on my hat that read "wake me for sex!" That came off quick smart!  

Nothing like a bit of silliness to make you appreciate the people you have in your life even more then before. Wishing my beautiful friend Dionne and her husband-to-be Michael a full-filling life as husband and wife. 

To find little goodies for your hens night, check out our website www.confidenceiskeylingerie.com.au to find something a little naughty to make your night! 

10 Ways To Drive Your Man Wild

Are you looking for new ways to drive your man crazy? Creativity and confidence is all that is required. Break out and allow yourself to explore someplace new and leave your comfort zone behind for awhile. Don’t be afraid to try new things even if they leave you with a lump in your throat and your heart beating erratically.  Surprising him with the unexpected can be the biggest success for a turn on. Our insecurities are often our reason for playing it safe sexually, but you would be surprised at what thinking outside of the box can do for your partner, not to mention yourself. Here are just 10 ways to start you off that will drive him wild. With a bit of imagination and confidence this list can be never-ending.

1. Act out your passion – When making love don’t just go through the motions. Let loose and act out your desires as you commit fully to what you are doing. It will drive him wild knowing that you are enjoying the sex as much as he is.

2. Express yourself – Verbalize the admiration that you have for him, his body and the things that he does. Boosting his ego and turning him on will make him feel sexy and he won’t be able to keep his hands to himself.

3. Surprise him with oral sex – Drive him wild by performing oral sex when he least expects it. Eg: wake him up by sucking on his morning wood, show your appreciation when he’s doing the dishes, or make a long drive interesting and surprise him while he’s driving...

4. Stroke him from behind – Approach your man from behind and emulate the way he would touch himself, all the while kissing his neck and shoulders.

5. Let him watch – Masturbate in front of your man as if you are all alone. There is an almost certain guarantee that he will not be able to keep his hands off you long enough to finish solo.

6. Shower time fun – Massage him in the shower when you are washing him, including a scalp massage as you wash his hair.  But be sure to leave the most sensitive part till last and attend to it thoroughly for an explosive finish.

7. Take Control – Use a little dominance and boss him around a bit. Don’t be afraid to get a little firm when he is disobedient to your commands. By taking control you are radiating confidence that will drive him wild and make him want to do anything you desire.

8. Talk dirty – in the right situation and circumstances a man hearing you say filthy words seductively, particularly if you are generally curse free, can really turn a man on.

9. Let it out – Men like nothing more to hear your moans and expressions that come from him pleasuring you. Men like to know when they are doing something right. Go all out and let him know when he is hitting the spot or that you are about to reach climax.

10. Strip Tease – Dress up in some sexy lingerie and provocatively remove the layers to the beat of music playing in the background. Give him his own personal strip show that will leave him completely satisfied, instead of teased and penniless. You can find a range of affordable and striking lingerie here.

Remember, a man who is regularly surprised by your efforts can prevent you and your partner from falling into a rut or losing the spark.  A man whose girlfriend can drive him wild and keep him guessing, is a happy man.

Top 10 sexy male artist voices

WARNING: Yumminess overload!!

Just a fun and random blog topic for a Saturday night, while everyone else is out partying and enjoying the effects of a nice icey cold rum :)  There is something about a sexy voice that just makes you weak in the knees... make that a sexy singing voice and it can make a girl hooked to any song they will ever sing. Haha.  Okay so maybe it's just me, but I have loved songs purely because I have been captivated by the voice of the singer.  Here are my top 10 male artist that have captured my attention for their vocals.  I have chosen my favourite songs that capture the complete sexiness of their breathtaking voices.  It just adds to the attractiveness and appeal of each and every one of them :)

1.  Jonathon Foreman (Switchfoot)

2.  Darren Criss & Matt Bomer (Glee)

3. Brad Paisley 

4. Brendon Urie (Panic! at the Disco)

5. Sam Larsen (Glee)

6. Michael Painter

7. Mike Rosenberg (Passenger)

8.  James Arthur

9.  Reece Mastin 

10. Olly Murs

I am interested to know if there is anybody out there who has had a "I don't care what your singing, I love this song because your voice is damn sexy" moment or likes any particular songs for the same reason :)  

A single girls guide to LIVE NRL games

I went to my first ever LIVE NRL game today. For me this is something very unheard of.  I went in knowing nothing other then that Nate Myles would be playing.  Of course, first I had to do my google research to know exactly who Nate Myles was. LOL Best i could gather, was that he is NRL's version of crickets Shane Watson. :) Turns out the game was Rabbitohs VS Titans.   The only other football game I have bothered to watch in my life time was the State of Origin about two weeks ago!  Here are a few pointers I learnt from my surprisingly not entirely disappointing experience.

1. Find the most perve appropriate seating in the general admission area. Cuz when the game gets boring you're ganna need something to look at. :)

2. Be prepared no matter where you sit to have someone squat directly in front of you, with no regard to your personal space or whether or not you can see the field over their head.

3. Bring your own food and drinks unless you can justify spending $4 on a bottle of water.

4. Pack extra excitement for when no one else is showing any enthusiasm. You may need to cheer for the entire crowd.  This would appear to be the case during pre-games of higher profile games.

5. Sit next to supporters of the same team. This saves you from wasting time actually having to learn any rules and you don't have to listen to that drunk guy holding a flag screaming out encouragement to the team you are betting on to lose.

6. Bring sunnies. This is a win win step. It protects your eyes from the glare and hides the direction of your eyes.  It may appear to everyone you are watching the game, but you really just noticed that guy in front with the sexy tattoos :)

7. Prep yourself with soft ass padding to prevent your butt from falling asleep. Surprisingly grassy hills are not as comfortable as they look. 

8. Arrive early. Unless you wanna have to sit on someone's lap, arrive well prior to the game to ensure a decent seat.

9. Bring sunscreen. No matter how you look at it, a burnt sunglasses mark just isn't sexy. 

10. By time the game is finished, your hands have a mind of there own and you find yourself clapping and cheering at the top of your lungs rooting for your chosen team and joining in on that mexican wave that goes around the entire footy field.  Surprisingly men tackling each other over a ball is actually very entertaining :)

So whilst I initially had low hopes of enjoying the experience as I desperately wished that it was an Australian cricket match I was spending my day on, I actually had a fantastic time despite my resulted sunburn and sore ass!  Of course, I'm still keen for the day I get myself to a LIVE Cricket match, but I wouldn't entirely hate to experience a LIVE footy game again.  Granted next time i'll be packing my cushy seating and sunscreen lotion.

10 Signs you are not over your ex

To everyone who has ever been heartbroken, it is a disappointment to know that there is no set time frame for when you no longer suffer these signs that are to follow. The fact of the matter is, love hurts.  When it comes to failed relationships there is no such thing as simple fixes to mend a broken heart. Many suppress the initial hurt to protect themselves from feeling the excruciation.  But when all inevitably slows down, there’s nowhere to hide.  Here are 10 signs that you are not over your ex.  There is no shame in this.  Hang in there.  Don’t let yourself give up on finding your smile again.

1. Everything still reminds you of them. 
You cannot get through a day without seeing, hearing, eating or smelling something that reminds you of that special dish your ex cooked, songs that you both listened to or sang, a scent they wore or places you went together. If you feel the need to change the radio station when particular songs come on or you avoid places that were regular hangouts for you, this is a real indication that you have not let go of your ex.

2. You think you see them everywhere.
No matter where you are or what you are doing you catch a glimpse of a reflective shirt, certain type of vehicle, or particular body build and all of a sudden you feel your heart pick up  pace and you feel weak in the knees. Then you realise… it’s not them at all. You feel relieved and disappointed in equal measure.

3. You don’t notice other people’s interest in you.
Someone new is trying to get close to you and you don’t even notice. All you can think about is your past. Your future feels like a black hole without your ex and blindly you shut out opportunities that are right in front of you.

4. You compare everyone to them.
You cannot meet someone of the opposite sex without comparing them to your ex. You spend more time picking out or noticing the similarities they have to your ex instead of noticing their individuality. No-one will ever be good enough if you measure them up against someone else.  Everyone deserves better then that.

5. You constantly cyber stalk them.
You have deleted them from Facebook for your own emotional stability, but that doesn’t stop you from checking their wall... even if it’s just to see their picture for the millionth time, because you can no longer access anything else.

6. You can’t part with gifts they gave you.
You find yourself holding on to the mementos from your relationship. You are just not ready to throw away the memories. Keeping these tokens keeps you connected to the person you have lost.

7. You fantasize about being reunited. 
You find yourself fantasizing about ways your ex would come back into your life to reunite what you had. Ways they would express their undying love for you and want to start all over again and spend the rest of their lives with you…..

8. You are still trying to figure out what went wrong. 
You still play over every conversation, action or hiccup that went down in your relationship, trying to find signs of where it went wrong and what you could have done to make your ex want to stay with you. Wondering if there was something you could have said to have guaranteed your connections survival, preventing you from this ultimate demise.

9. They still come up in most conversations. 
You cannot help but talk about them. “He/she used to do this”, “He/she would have loved this.” You speak of them as if they are still the most important person in your world.

10. You become the Green Eyed Monster. 
The thought of your ex meeting someone else breaks your heart and you harbour jealousy of all those people that still get to be in his/her life.

Happy 2nd Birthday!

Confidence is Key Lingerie is turning two! To celebrate entering our third year of bringing you a wide range of affordable sexy lingerie and stimulating battery operated adult toys, we are throwing a party! The party being 50% off store-wide for the whole day on Thursday 18th of April 2013 and you are all invited.  


This is a Facebook only sale. Our facebook page can be found here. Orders are to be placed by contacting us via PM :) See what we have at: www.confidenceiskeylingerie.com.au  If you are having trouble PM'ing us please email: admin@confidenceiskeylingerie.com.au

Postage for all 50% off sales will be a discounted flat rate of $5.00. Please remember to make orders through email or pm as the discounted rates are not set up on the website. Offer only valid in Australia.

A reminder that all stock is limited. First order received for low stock will be served in order. I apologize in advance if something runs out :(  Sale will end at Midnight on 18th of April 2013.  So why not reap the rewards of our getting older and spoil yourself with something naughty.. or equally nice :)  Hip Hip Hooray!! Hip Hip Hooray!! 

Musical Guilty Pleasures

There is no secret that we all have musical guilty pleasures hidden within ourselves, only to be shared behind closed doors or wound up windows of our vehicles, hoping that no-one is reading the words on our lips as we pelt out the lines of the chorus. After watching the Glee episode "Guilty Pleasures" it made me realize that I am a big culprit of musical guilty pleasures being as I loved every song performed in the episode! I am curious to know, what are everyone else's musical guilty pleasures?  Those songs or bands that you are ashamed to admit you LOVE!  I'll share mine if you share yours :)  The following 5 tracks can be found on my iPod, bringing on a quick change of the tune when someone else accompanies me in the car before they can detect it's a song ancient enough to be recorded off an old record.  However they get cranking when I'm on my own.

1.    Jimmy Soul - If you wanna be happy - 1963

2. The Chordettes - Lollipop - 1958

3. The Kingsmen - Louie Louie - 1963

 4. Buddy Holly - Everyday - 1957

 5. The Everly Brothers - All I Have to do is Dream - 1958

So once you all pick yourselves up off the floor from that laughter caused by my personal musical guilty pleasures, please share any of your own.  If you dare :)  

Is it wise to stay friends after a break-up?

Whether a break-up is messy or not remaining friends after a failed relationship is hard.  Some may even deem the idea un-realistic.  It is easy to turn a friendship into love, but harder if not impossible to remain friends after a  relationship has come to an end.  Here are a few reasons that staying friends with an ex is nothing more than a bad idea.

Residual feelings – There are still residual feelings that prevent you from moving on as you should.  As long as you are interacting with your ex, you will hold on to these feelings and be preventing yourself from letting go and starting fresh.  A broken relationship is much like grieving; you have to let yourself go through the process or you will never come to terms with the loss. 

“It’s just sex” – Break up sex is practically unavoidable when two people remain friends after a relationship.  If you are both of a active healthy sexual appetite it will be hard for you to avoid your sexual urges.  And although the dumpee tells themselves that it’s just body parts, on a microscopic level, they are keeping the bond alive even if they do not want to admit it.  Being so close to your ex keeps the relationship alive.

You will not find mr/mrs right – In the end, all you are doing is opening yourself up to more pain and prolonging the hurt that comes with an ended relationship. There is a reason that you are no longer together.  Acceptance is the only way to put it in the past and having that constant reminder in your life of a failed love is damaging.  You will need that distance to find the right person for you.

Wishful thinking – If you were the dumpee you will always hold hope that your ex will change their mind about how they feel about your relationship.  The dumper is the one who initiates the “let’s be friends” idea, but will always keep the dumpee in the past.  Don’t waste time on someone who failed to see your potential and worth.   

I cannot tell you what is best for you or what you need during such a painful time.  And I am the first to admit how hard this advice is to follow.  But deep down I know it is best for me.  It just takes time to be open to letting go.  I can however tell you that I have wasted many years trying to prove to myself that keeping an ex in my life was possible.  Experience has proved me wrong.  Even if you can find that medium, once either of you find someone else the friendship becomes void.   So much time and effort wasted for something that can’t possibly last.

I will leave you with the words of Carrie Bradshaw: “The most important break-up rule.  No matter who broke your heart or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends.”  Take as much time as you need to say goodbye to your past and greet your future with an enthusiastic hello.

Things to consider before entering a long distance relationship

Long Distance Relationships are not impossible but you have to be realistic and understand that they are a lot of hard work.  You need to both be willing to make the effort to keep the connection alive otherwise you will end up feeling that you are living separate lives, instead of the one you should be living together.  Here are a few things to consider before going down that road.

Are you a jealous person?  If you are the jealous type this may pose a problem.  The distance between you and your existing or potential partner means you can never be 100% sure of what they are doing or who they are with.  It all comes down to trust and if you know you are the jealous type then you may not be able to handle the paranoia that comes with a long distances relationships dooming separation.

Is the distance between you going to be on-going? You have to ask if the distance is for a short term or a long term.  If your partner is only going away for a certain amount of time to achieve a goal then this is one thing, but if it is a suspected lifestyle choice this is something you have to consider if you could live with.  If your relationship is all about phone calls, text messages, Skype, emails and Facebook instead of physical contact, is that something you really want for yourself or could handle for the long term? 

Savings and travel?  Ask yourself how much money you have and if your savings can withstand all these visits back and forth just to be able to see each other.  You cannot expect one person to be doing all the travelling.  You need to make the effort to fill in the distance between you, in order to keep the relationship alive. 

How busy are you? If you do not have much going on in your life besides your relationship with said person, this may not be a sensible option for you.  If you are busy in your everyday life and have hobbies to keep you occupied and prevent you from dwelling on the loneliness then a Long Distance Relationship will be easier for you to withstand.

Do you want the same things?  If you are going to take a chance on trusting someone with your heart, whether Long Distance or otherwise, it is important to know if you want the same things.  If compromising is on the horizon of major desires for life it is important you know about them before making this decision.  If you are fighting for different things or having to sacrifice what you want for your future just to be together, you have to ask yourself if this is worth it?

At the end of the day, you know what you can handle as a person.  If you are strong enough to handle all that comes with your partner being somewhere other than where you are, then there is no reason you shouldn’t give it a shot, particularly if your feelings for that person are worth pursuing or continuing.  Unfortunately whether there’s a million miles in between you and your partner or you live under the same roof, there are no guarantees when it comes to relationships.  It all comes down to taking a leap of faith and trusting that your feelings are matched by your partner and that you are compatible enough to last the distance.

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Tips to help with fears of abandonment

Identify your fear – It is easier to overcome an issue if you come to terms with it first.  Accept your fear and make efforts to conquer it.  Do not push it in the background and just accept that it’s the way you are meant to be.  Overcoming a fear can be a long process, but avoidance is never the answer and can prevent you from living a fulfilling life and opening up to love. 

Determine the source – fears such as this rarely come from nowhere.  Experiences in your life generally hold the key to why it is you fear abandonment.  Locating the source of your apprehension is the first step to tackling the problem and until this is done, you cannot conquer your fear. Often it is when you are most happy that your fear emerges to ruin what you have.

Deal with the past - Sometimes occurrences can be hard to remember due to your human defense of shutting experiences out to avoid pain of living with it.  Do not be ashamed to seek a therapists help to dig deeper into yourself to find the cause.  Let the events of your past go.  It is only then, that you will be able to open the doors to a fear free future.  Often our fears are what hold us back from what it is we want.  By fearing everyone will leave you, your distrust pushes them away. 

Don’t categorize people – If you have been hurt by someone do not automatically assume that everyone is going to hurt you. Allowing ourselves to over-generalize following the occurrence that has brought on our fear only prevents us from trusting another person.  Just because you have been cheated on by a man does not mean that all men can’t be trusted.  Just because someone you loved left you, doesn’t mean that everyone you love is going to leave you.  

Take things as they come – Enjoy each moment that is presented in your relationships.  Painful experiences are all par for the course but I strongly believe that people come into our lives for a reason no less significant than the reasons they leave.  If something bad happens, then believe there is a reason for it.  There is no point in worrying about something that may never come to pass.  If you fear the negatives all your life you will be blind to the positives. Do not allow yourself to avoid a committed relationship for fear it will not last.

DON’Ts when dealing with heartache

Your life revolved around another person and now they’re not there. This leaves you feeling uncomfortable in your own skin and lost in your own everyday life. You feel like you will never get to the other side of the excruciation invading you. Everybody deals with heartbreak differently. But here are a few DON’Ts that you should keep in mind.

1. DON’T ignore your pain. Ignoring your pain and pretending that everything is fine and dandy can be worse than expressing yourself during this time. Let yourself feel the upset and don’t be ashamed of your hurting. Express yourself with those who are surrounding you with nothing but support to offer. Even the tamest of break-ups can leave a sting in your heart.

2. DON’T become revengeful. It’s okay to be angry. But putting that anger into an act of revenge is not going to help anyone or change what has happened. Nor will it help you move on with your life.

3. DON’T let bitterness consume you. Do not let a broken heart lead you into a life of bitterness where you no longer believe in the everlasting love that you deserve. You will only be holding yourself back from the best that life has to offer.

4. DON’T feel the need to prove your worth. So your ex did not see the fabulousness of you as a person. This does not mean that you have to change in order to be able to impress someone else. Do not waste time changing to a form of yourself to meet your ex’s expectations. If they cannot see you for the amazing person you are, do not waste time trying to highlight your strengths in order to keep yourself in their life.

5. DON’T make drastic decisions. You are not thinking clearly during the initial stages of a break-up. Do not allow yourself to make drastic or irreversible decisions. Tattoos or pixie haircuts are not a wise choice when you are feeling the way you are. Give yourself time to heal before making these kinds of decisions.

6. DON’T romanticize. Daydreaming about ways your ex will try and win you back or fight to keep you in their lives is only a means for pain. Think of the pain that their breakup has caused you. Having them back in your life with the power to be able to put you in that position again is not something you should be hoping for. Rather, invest in yourself and know that you deserve better then the black hole of agony their rejection brought to your life.

7. DON’T rush into the arms of a replacement. Using another relationship as a band-aid to your pain is a pitiable move. This will only be a temporary fix and will ultimately end badly. You are not only denying yourself a necessary factor of the healing process, but hurting another person with your selfish attempt to avoid feeling a pain crucial in order to let the past go and move on.

As hard as it is to believe it right now, there is a reason for everything, which means that there is a reason for this as well. You never know what tomorrow might bring. Take each day as it comes. Be open to new beginnings and embrace life’s little mysteries. Don’t give up on hope for the life that you feel you deserve.  A failed relationship does not define you. The best is yet to come.  It's time to say goodbye to the past, so you can be open to the future.