DON’Ts when dealing with heartache

Your life revolved around another person and now they’re not there. This leaves you feeling uncomfortable in your own skin and lost in your own everyday life. You feel like you will never get to the other side of the excruciation invading you. Everybody deals with heartbreak differently. But here are a few DON’Ts that you should keep in mind.

1. DON’T ignore your pain. Ignoring your pain and pretending that everything is fine and dandy can be worse than expressing yourself during this time. Let yourself feel the upset and don’t be ashamed of your hurting. Express yourself with those who are surrounding you with nothing but support to offer. Even the tamest of break-ups can leave a sting in your heart.

2. DON’T become revengeful. It’s okay to be angry. But putting that anger into an act of revenge is not going to help anyone or change what has happened. Nor will it help you move on with your life.

3. DON’T let bitterness consume you. Do not let a broken heart lead you into a life of bitterness where you no longer believe in the everlasting love that you deserve. You will only be holding yourself back from the best that life has to offer.

4. DON’T feel the need to prove your worth. So your ex did not see the fabulousness of you as a person. This does not mean that you have to change in order to be able to impress someone else. Do not waste time changing to a form of yourself to meet your ex’s expectations. If they cannot see you for the amazing person you are, do not waste time trying to highlight your strengths in order to keep yourself in their life.

5. DON’T make drastic decisions. You are not thinking clearly during the initial stages of a break-up. Do not allow yourself to make drastic or irreversible decisions. Tattoos or pixie haircuts are not a wise choice when you are feeling the way you are. Give yourself time to heal before making these kinds of decisions.

6. DON’T romanticize. Daydreaming about ways your ex will try and win you back or fight to keep you in their lives is only a means for pain. Think of the pain that their breakup has caused you. Having them back in your life with the power to be able to put you in that position again is not something you should be hoping for. Rather, invest in yourself and know that you deserve better then the black hole of agony their rejection brought to your life.

7. DON’T rush into the arms of a replacement. Using another relationship as a band-aid to your pain is a pitiable move. This will only be a temporary fix and will ultimately end badly. You are not only denying yourself a necessary factor of the healing process, but hurting another person with your selfish attempt to avoid feeling a pain crucial in order to let the past go and move on.

As hard as it is to believe it right now, there is a reason for everything, which means that there is a reason for this as well. You never know what tomorrow might bring. Take each day as it comes. Be open to new beginnings and embrace life’s little mysteries. Don’t give up on hope for the life that you feel you deserve.  A failed relationship does not define you. The best is yet to come.  It's time to say goodbye to the past, so you can be open to the future.

6 Don’ts in new relationships

New relationships can be among the most exciting times of your life.  Embracing the excitement of getting to know someone and all the nervous tingles that come along with it. Unfortunately with the initial uncertainty involved during this time, they can also be a matter of delicacy and can end up faltering due to bad treatment.  Here are a few mistakes commonly made in the beginnings of a connection.  These don'ts will be useful to those who are trying to create something meaningful and long lasting.

Don’t allow sex to take #1 Priority – Although physical attraction in the initial stages of a new relationship is inevitable, many make the mistake of prioritising the sex above spending time getting to know the person they are beginning the relationship with.  This leads to making your partner feel like they are only a source of fulfilling your sexual needs. 

Don’t act cold - Not offering any affection at all will also lead your partner to think that there is no passion between the two of you.  It is important to find a medium that will leave your partner feeling secure within your relationship.  One too many “I’m not in the mood”s or other common excuses will end up making him/her suspicious and in the end, lose interest in trying all together.

Don’t bring in the family to soon – Introducing your partner to your family to early can not only be misconstrued by your partner, but can also bring unnecessary discomfort to both your partner and family if things do not work out.  In the early stages of a relationship there is no guarantee that the spark will continue beyond the first 3 – 6 Months.  Allowing your partner to become attached to your family and then coming to the realisation that you do not want to continue with the relationship is a situation that can be avoided if you had waited long enough to discover what you meant to each other before bringing in the family.

Don’t be fake – Do not act in a way as such that you think she/he wants you to in order to get into her heart.  It is important that you do not hide aspects of yourself because in the end, the secret will be out and your partner will either love you in spite of your bad habits or they won’t.  Either way, it is better to find this out early on.  You want your partner to love you for who you are, not for who you think they want you to be and if they don’t they are obviously not the right person for you.

Don’t dwell – Do not dwell on those little things that do not work out according to plan.  He/she’s not spending enough time with you? Do not spend excessive time dwelling on little issues, particularly if your partner is unaware of the heartache caused.  This will only end up making you resent your partner and sometimes there is no going back once you have reached that point.

Don’t bottle things up – 100% honesty is the only way to go in to a relationship and the most important policy to follow during it.  There is no point in tip toeing around resulting in unhappiness and not getting what you want.  The only way to have your needs met is to have your partner aware of what they are.  And if they are difficult to meet, then that’s when the doors to compromise are open.  Either way 100% honesty in your communication with one another is a necessity to a healthy and happy relationship.  Our partners may be able to see that we are upset, but they cannot read our minds.  It is up to us to let them know what is causing us upset or worry.

Whether your relationship is in the beginning stages or you are years into a loving relationship it is never to early or late for bringing the extra excitement in to the bedroom.  You can find an affordable range of Lingerie, Adult toys, accessories and XXX Dvd's on our website. www.confidenceiskeylingerie.com.au