DON’Ts when dealing with heartache

Your life revolved around another person and now they’re not there. This leaves you feeling uncomfortable in your own skin and lost in your own everyday life. You feel like you will never get to the other side of the excruciation invading you. Everybody deals with heartbreak differently. But here are a few DON’Ts that you should keep in mind.

1. DON’T ignore your pain. Ignoring your pain and pretending that everything is fine and dandy can be worse than expressing yourself during this time. Let yourself feel the upset and don’t be ashamed of your hurting. Express yourself with those who are surrounding you with nothing but support to offer. Even the tamest of break-ups can leave a sting in your heart.

2. DON’T become revengeful. It’s okay to be angry. But putting that anger into an act of revenge is not going to help anyone or change what has happened. Nor will it help you move on with your life.

3. DON’T let bitterness consume you. Do not let a broken heart lead you into a life of bitterness where you no longer believe in the everlasting love that you deserve. You will only be holding yourself back from the best that life has to offer.

4. DON’T feel the need to prove your worth. So your ex did not see the fabulousness of you as a person. This does not mean that you have to change in order to be able to impress someone else. Do not waste time changing to a form of yourself to meet your ex’s expectations. If they cannot see you for the amazing person you are, do not waste time trying to highlight your strengths in order to keep yourself in their life.

5. DON’T make drastic decisions. You are not thinking clearly during the initial stages of a break-up. Do not allow yourself to make drastic or irreversible decisions. Tattoos or pixie haircuts are not a wise choice when you are feeling the way you are. Give yourself time to heal before making these kinds of decisions.

6. DON’T romanticize. Daydreaming about ways your ex will try and win you back or fight to keep you in their lives is only a means for pain. Think of the pain that their breakup has caused you. Having them back in your life with the power to be able to put you in that position again is not something you should be hoping for. Rather, invest in yourself and know that you deserve better then the black hole of agony their rejection brought to your life.

7. DON’T rush into the arms of a replacement. Using another relationship as a band-aid to your pain is a pitiable move. This will only be a temporary fix and will ultimately end badly. You are not only denying yourself a necessary factor of the healing process, but hurting another person with your selfish attempt to avoid feeling a pain crucial in order to let the past go and move on.

As hard as it is to believe it right now, there is a reason for everything, which means that there is a reason for this as well. You never know what tomorrow might bring. Take each day as it comes. Be open to new beginnings and embrace life’s little mysteries. Don’t give up on hope for the life that you feel you deserve.  A failed relationship does not define you. The best is yet to come.  It's time to say goodbye to the past, so you can be open to the future.

Signs You’re Dating The Wrong Person

Not everyone we date is going to turn out to be the love of our lives.  Relationships fail for many reasons and just because you have found someone to share your life with, does not mean that they are the right person for you.  Here are a few hints that you are dating the wrong person.

Unhappiness – If you are unhappy in a relationship there really is no point in sticking around waiting for that day that you will be happy within it. The right person for you would not leave you in a constant state of unhappiness. 

Walking on eggshells – If you feel like you cannot be yourself around your partner, then what is the point really? You want them to be in love with you, not the censored version of yourself that you are to please them.

Embarrassment – If you are ashamed to introduce your partner to your friends and family, chances are he/she is not the right person for you.

No dreaming of the future – If you never find yourself envisioning a future with your partner by your side, then there is a good chance that deep down inside you don’t think there is one.

No Common Grounds – If you and your partner have nothing in common then sooner or later your differences will become between you and break you apart.

Unexcited – If you don’t get excited at the idea of seeing or speaking to your partner then you are missing one serious ingredient to a passionate relationship.

Instincts want out – If your gut is telling you that this relationship is going no-where or isn’t for you, then more often than not your inner mind is trying to tell you that you are not happy with the person you are with.

Disrespect – You do not want to feel disrespected within your relationship. Respect is an important must in any partnership and will not work if this is missing.

Unsupported – If you find your partner fails to support you in your goals and accomplishments then you will always have the since of failing in life in general.

Last Priority – If you come across as last priority on their list and are only ever wanted when it suits them, then they are not the right person for you.

Do not stay in a relationship merely because you think that you don't deserve any better or that you will end up old and alone.  Sometimes all it takes is that distance and time to focus on yourself to make you realize that you are in a pointless relationship.  It is better to be alone for a while then to be taken for granted and being short changed of the love and passion you truly deserve.