Starting a new relationship after a broken heart

Make sure you are ready – Beginning a new relationship is no way to cure a broken heart. Make sure that you are ready to move on and are not doing it for the wrong reasons. Give yourself some time to feel the heartache. Let your past settle. When you are happy within yourself and are not constantly haunted by positive memories of your relationship with your ex, then you will be ready to move on to the next romantic chapter in your life.

Avoid romanticism – It is unrealistic to think that a partner can meet all your wants and desires. It is up to you to make yourself happy and this should be worked on before going into a new relationship with neediness stamped across your forehead.

Have real expectations – You now have a better idea of what you want in a partner. But make sure that your expectations of future suitors are realistic. You do not want to be hurt again so it is only natural that you are more cautious then in your previous relationship, but it is important to remember that your new partner is only human as are you.

There are plenty of fish in the sea – As lovely as the idea of soul mates is, the realism is that you can be compatible with several different people throughout your lifetime. There are a lot of people out there and this is an assurance that you never have to settle. Find someone who makes you happy and shares your life aspirations. Someone who makes you feel like you’re on top of the world and accepts your shortcomings. That is a person who is worth waking up to.

Do not hold your ex’s mistakes against future partners – You are entitled to the fear that comes with feeling like you have had your heart ripped out of your chest. But it is important that you understand not everyone in your life is going to hurt you. Do not make the mistake of thinking that your exes faults are that of every person you meet and/or spend time with. Leave your baggage in the past.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket – It is okay to be cautious in the beginning. There is no race or time frames. Get to know someone before you give them everything. The more you give before the relationship status is established the more vulnerable you will be to getting hurt.

Trust your intuition – Listen to your intuition. Do not force yourself to feel something that is not there. Your gut instincts are more often than not a expression of your true thoughts.

Try new avenues – You had no luck with your previous partner meeting them the way you did, why not try different avenues of meeting new people. Even something you have never thought about can be successful. Perhaps invest your time in a new hobby that allows you to mingle with others who have the same passion for what you enjoy doing? There is more than one way to meet new people. You could benefit from doing some research on places to meet new people.

Top 5 topics to avoid on a first date

First dates can be a daunting experience in themselves. To make something that could be extremely rewarding for you and your date less awkward, here are few topics that could be considered inappropriate on a first date. Remember that you are there to get to know each other, but you do not have to cross any lines while doing so, that may make your date uncomfortable.  There is plenty of time to get to know each other and there is no reason to dig too deep too soon.

1. Past Relationships – Talking about your ex/es is never a good idea in the beginning of a new relationship. Leave your ex in the past where they should be and focus on who is right in front of you! 
2. Religion – your belief or disbelief in a higher power may be a very important subject to you. But a first date is not the time or place to discuss it. Leave such a sensitive topic until you really get to know someone. 
3. Sex – If you bring up this subject on a first date it is most likely going to be in the other persons thought that you have a one tracked mind and are only dating for one reason. There are many other subjects to visit and there should be no reason to have to resort to a subject that could be potentially embarrassing for your date. 
4. Money – How much your date earns is not important enough to broach on a first date. Nor is it the place to brag about how much you earn. Money is not of great importance to everyone and you do not want your date to think that it is all you care about. 
5. Marriage and Kids – You don’t want to come down to heavy on your first date by listing how many children you want to have and when you envision being married. The last thing you want to do is scare of a new love interest before they have gotten to know you. If you have children already and do not want to be rejected for that mere fact, insure that your date knows of this prior to going out with them to minimise any disappointments.

Signs You’re Dating The Wrong Person

Not everyone we date is going to turn out to be the love of our lives.  Relationships fail for many reasons and just because you have found someone to share your life with, does not mean that they are the right person for you.  Here are a few hints that you are dating the wrong person.

Unhappiness – If you are unhappy in a relationship there really is no point in sticking around waiting for that day that you will be happy within it. The right person for you would not leave you in a constant state of unhappiness. 

Walking on eggshells – If you feel like you cannot be yourself around your partner, then what is the point really? You want them to be in love with you, not the censored version of yourself that you are to please them.

Embarrassment – If you are ashamed to introduce your partner to your friends and family, chances are he/she is not the right person for you.

No dreaming of the future – If you never find yourself envisioning a future with your partner by your side, then there is a good chance that deep down inside you don’t think there is one.

No Common Grounds – If you and your partner have nothing in common then sooner or later your differences will become between you and break you apart.

Unexcited – If you don’t get excited at the idea of seeing or speaking to your partner then you are missing one serious ingredient to a passionate relationship.

Instincts want out – If your gut is telling you that this relationship is going no-where or isn’t for you, then more often than not your inner mind is trying to tell you that you are not happy with the person you are with.

Disrespect – You do not want to feel disrespected within your relationship. Respect is an important must in any partnership and will not work if this is missing.

Unsupported – If you find your partner fails to support you in your goals and accomplishments then you will always have the since of failing in life in general.

Last Priority – If you come across as last priority on their list and are only ever wanted when it suits them, then they are not the right person for you.

Do not stay in a relationship merely because you think that you don't deserve any better or that you will end up old and alone.  Sometimes all it takes is that distance and time to focus on yourself to make you realize that you are in a pointless relationship.  It is better to be alone for a while then to be taken for granted and being short changed of the love and passion you truly deserve. 

Tips to help you move on after a break-up

Breaking up with someone, or having being left by someone can bring on so many different emotions.  Not all of them are engaging.  There are a few things to bear in mind throughout these complicated times that will make it easier to accept realities and have you heading in the right direction towards something brand new.  If a relationship doesn’t work out for you, then there is typically a reason for this.  Be honest with yourself and allow yourself to discover what these reasons are.  Do not throw in the towel surrendering to an illusive idea that you were meant to end up alone.  Things may get worse before they get better, but they will work out in the end.

Time out - Take some time to yourself to reflect on your current circumstances.  Whether you were the person to end the relationship or not, it is a good idea to take the time to mirror what has happened.  Let out any residual feelings of anger, sadness or resentment.  Take some time for yourself and do not be afraid to cry and/or feel sorry for yourself.  Do not force yourself to be over an ended relationship whether it was by you own choosing or not.  Cutting the cord does not mean that it is any less painful or difficult to accept the reasons of your decision.  Take the time to spotlight what went wrong and what it is that you seek in any future relationships. 

Take it a day at a time - The longer you are with someone, the more intense your feelings for each other become.  You become a part of each other and finding yourself separate from them can be quiet difficult to re-adapt too.  It can leave you feeling like your world no longer makes sense.  This can take time to feel normal again and re-discover who you are without that person by your side.  Do not put unrealistic expectations and time limits on your healing.  There is no rush.  Take each day as it comes and with time, each day will become that little bit easier than the one before it.

No regrets - Regretting events of the past is pointless.  What’s done is done and you have to open your eyes to the possibilities of your future.  It will not bring any benefit to your life to stew on regrets and will only leave you viewing things negatively, keeping you in that place of unhappiness.  Keep positive thoughts and leave bitterness behind and make the most of all those things in your life that you cherish.

Don’t fear moving on - Just because a relationship did not work out does not mean that you have failed.  Do not be afraid to go down that road again.  New relationships can be scary and some people put up walls to protect themselves, but if you don’t let the bricks fall down and allow someone in to really get to know you, then you will never experience the excitement that comes along with meeting someone new. Not everyone you meet thinks like the exes of your past, which means it doesn't necessary imply your past experiences will repeat themselves.

Talk it out - In a break-up, particularly a regretful or unwanted one, emotional support is an important part of moving forward.  After the initial time out from it all, talk it out with your friends and family. Keep busy and avoid being in situations that give you too much time to think about what has happened.  This will only make you relive the occurrence over and over again.  Instead surround yourself with people who will refuse to let you see anything other than the reasons it did not work.

Trust you made the right decision (if you opted out) - If you have made the decision to walk away from your partner there is every chance that you have come to that conclusion for a reason.  Whether it was a rash decision or one that you had been thinking about for a while. Perhaps you were feeling like you deserve better, were over the lies, feel out of love with that person, distance was too much to bear, or just merely that you and your partner wanted different things in life and you didn't want to give up your dreams and sacrifice what you wanted for the sake of someone else.  Break-ups happen for many different reasons and at the end of the day, the cause is rarely unfounded. Do not let your ex make you feel guilty or question what you want.  Everybody deserves to live life the way they choose, not the way someone else wants them too.  It is your life and your heart and if you are not happy with who you are with, then what is the point?

It is not the end of the world (if your partner opted out) - There is one reassuring way to look at a relationship that has ended without your control or approval.  You have to ask yourself, “Why would I want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me?”  Everybody deserves to be with someone who couldn't imagine life without them by their side.  Do not grovel or over grieve for someone who does not feel this way about you. And perhaps most importantly, do not contact your ex.  This will only prevent you from taking the necessary steps to move on to the next chapter of your love life.  You may not see it yet, but something new and electrifying is on the next page waiting for you when you’re good and ready.

Tips for taking a break in a relationship

Many may consider taking a break from a relationship a major occurrence. But whether you need to take a step back to decide what you really want, open your partners’ eyes to a serious wrong doing or just to have some breathing space to focus on yourself, sometimes taking a break can be the right move for you. Occasionally in a relationship you discover things that you wish you hadn’t and are unsure whether you can forgive them. Other times you can feel neglected, disrespected or just trapped.  There are many reasons/situations that people choose to follow this road.  Taking a break can be an excellent way to assess your partnership and establish whether it is something you desire to persist in the future.

Taking a break could be the occurrence that your relationship requires to endure and can regularly bring you closer when the choice is made to reunite. Keep in mind that your partner may not react well to the suggestion of a break from each other. Your partner may get angry, upset or even give you the cold shoulder. There is no guarantee that they will want to talk about it or accept your decision. Here are a few tips to help you when considering to take a break in your relationship.

Discuss Why - Firstly, discuss with your partner why you feel that you need to do this. Breaks can often be seen as an end. Assure your partner that you have not made a decision yet and need this time to decide what it is you really want.

Set Ground Rules - Ground rules are important to any break within a relationship. If something occurs during this time that you are not accepting of, you cannot hold it against your partner if they did not know the guidelines of your break. In order for a break to work both parties must agree to the rules. I.e. Are you aloud to date other people? It is important to discuss what is and isn't acceptable during this time apart.

Decide Time Frame - When agreeing to a break, establish a time that you will regroup to discuss your decision. If you are not sure how long you will need, make an estimation and inform your partner that you may need more time than this.

Keep in Contact - Just because you are taking a break from each other does not mean that you cannot have any contact at all with your partner. It is important to keep the lines of communication open. Taking a break does not mean shutting each other out and/or ignoring your partner.

Expect the Unexpected - Even if it is you that initiates the break to begin with, it is important to remember that this time apart can also change how your partner feels and what your partner may want. A break goes both ways and either of you can end the break or the relationship at any time.

At the end of the day, it is you who has to decide what you want and if you can be open to second chances, trust and/or forgiveness. Seek advise so that you feel less alone, but do not take others opinions on as your own. You are the one who has to live with your decisions. It is your life and therefore you have to live with the consequences of your decision.  Be sure that the decision you make is of your own choosing.

Building Trust in a Relationship

Trust or emotional safety in a relationship can often be a very difficult emotion to master, particularly for those who have been hurt and/or betrayed in previous relationships.  Time does not always heal wounds of our past.  Regardless, the fact of the matter is that trust is the basis of any relationship.  If you cannot trust someone you cannot have a healthy relationship with them, as these trust issues will end up destroying the relationship. It may not happen right away, though slowly but surely it will be what breaks you apart.  In order to be in a happy relationship you have to be willing to work on a mutual trust.  Here are a few pointers in building trust in your relationship for those of you who find that trust does not come naturally to you.

Be Honest – Number one rule in building trust in a relationship is merely to continuously be honest with your partner.  If your partner senses that you are being deceitful this will make it harder for them to trust you.  We do not always like what we hear but it will be a comfort to know that honesty is applied in every instance.  There is no room for secrets or lies in a healthy relationship.

Communication – Express your needs and feelings on situations with your partner.  If jealousy occurs let your partner know how it makes you feel.  They are then aware of your feelings and will take measures to let you know that there is nothing to worry about.  Give your partner a chance to set you straight and always be clear and completely honest about how you are feeling and listen carefully to their concerns in return.

Don’t hold your partner accountable for others actions – As much as you wish you could control every situation, it is unrealistic to believe this is possible.  Do not hold your partner accountable for others actions in any situation no matter how hurtful.  Your partner cannot change anyone’s feelings or events anymore then you yourself can.

Be reliable – In order for someone to surrender to trust they need to know that their partner is reliable.  If you say you are going to be somewhere, be there.  If you say you are going to do something for your partner, do it.  If you can rely on someone it makes it easier to trust them.

Don’t go to bed angry – Never let issues go unresolved.  If trust issues or jealousy occurs between you and your partner do not try and avoid the issues.  Although the conversation may not be desired it is mandatory to address them before they get even larger.  Resentment stems from feeling unheard or failing to deal with a problem.

Forget the past – Do not compare new relationships to the old ones.  Just because your previous partner may have hurt you, does not mean that your new one is even remotely capable of making the same mistakes.  Do not lay that burden on them; it is not their burden to bear. 

Remember nobody is perfect - Acknowledge that nobody is perfect and that happenings can often be different to how they appear.  Discover and compliment your partner’s qualities.  Belief in each other will facilitate trust building in any relationship.

Love is all about losing yourself in your feelings.  Take the leap and have faith that everything will work out the way it is meant too.  Building trust is not always easy and requires on-going work to keep it afloat, but it is important to remember there is no point in worrying about something that may never come to pass.  Live in the present and appreciate the happier moments of life. 

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Tips for choosing lingerie for your figure

The most important thing for women when wearing lingerie is to feel comfortable.  The more comfortable you are, the sexier you will feel and ultimately the more confident you will be.  If you’re not sure what’s the most flattering lingerie for your body shape here are a few tips on choosing lingerie for your figure.

Whether you have great legs, impressive cleavage or toned buttocks, it is vital to your confidence to accentuate your best features.  Once you know what you want to cover up and would prefer to draw attention to, you are one step closer to finding the right style of lingerie for you.  Here are a few ideas to accentuate different parts of your body.

Babydolls and Camisoles - If you are conscious of your stomach or thighs sexy babydolls and camisoles are an appropriate choice.  These styles are perfect for covering the stomach and the tops of your thighs.  They are flowing in design and avoid clinging to your stomach.  babydolls and camisoles come in a variety of materials, so you can decide on how see-through they are depending on how big your insecurities are with these areas.  Darker colours also have a slimming effect so if you are insecure about your weight steer clear of anything pastel in colour.  You can find a range of babydolls and camisoles here.

Corsets - The corset is the suitable choice for anyone who views their cleavage as their best asset.  The corset draws attention to this area and also accentuates the natural curves of a women.  For this reason, a lot of women with curvy figures tend to choose this style of lingerie.  You can find a suitable range of corsets here.

Teddies - The teddy is great for accentuating the legs.  The body suit styled teddy makes you appear taller.  Teddies look great with stockings which will also provide extra attention to your best asset.  You can find a range of teddies here.

Matching sets with garter belt - This approach is well applied by taller women.  It shows off your stomach and accentuates your long legs.  If you have smaller breasts, you can opt for a push up bra to give you that extra lift.  If you are aiming at focusing on your legs choose a bra that doesn't give your boobs lift, but alternatively a light material bra that caresses what you naturally have. You can find garter belts and stockings here.

Matching sets with g-string - This combination is perfect for drawing attention to your bottom.  It is classic sexiness and suited best to those who consider their bum to be their best asset.  Boyleg undies can also bring success in this area. You can find a range of suitable matching sets here. 

Bra and Skirt Sets - The bra and skirt sets are more suited for those who are happy with their boobs and/or stomachs but a little self conscious of their thighs.  You can choose your bra depending on your boob volume and cover your thigh area with a pretty flowing skirt bottom.  This will lead focus to your boobs or stomach depending on what bra you decide to wear. You can find a range of bra and skirt sets here.


It doesn't matter what your insecurities, you can successfully find a lingerie style that suits you and draws your partners attention away from those areas you are self conscious of.  So why not make the effort to get something for yourself?  One will never feel as sexy as when they are wearing lingerie.  Your confidence grows with sexy lingerie, even if it's just wearing sexy undies underneath your work clothes.