Starting a new relationship after a broken heart

Make sure you are ready – Beginning a new relationship is no way to cure a broken heart. Make sure that you are ready to move on and are not doing it for the wrong reasons. Give yourself some time to feel the heartache. Let your past settle. When you are happy within yourself and are not constantly haunted by positive memories of your relationship with your ex, then you will be ready to move on to the next romantic chapter in your life.

Avoid romanticism – It is unrealistic to think that a partner can meet all your wants and desires. It is up to you to make yourself happy and this should be worked on before going into a new relationship with neediness stamped across your forehead.

Have real expectations – You now have a better idea of what you want in a partner. But make sure that your expectations of future suitors are realistic. You do not want to be hurt again so it is only natural that you are more cautious then in your previous relationship, but it is important to remember that your new partner is only human as are you.

There are plenty of fish in the sea – As lovely as the idea of soul mates is, the realism is that you can be compatible with several different people throughout your lifetime. There are a lot of people out there and this is an assurance that you never have to settle. Find someone who makes you happy and shares your life aspirations. Someone who makes you feel like you’re on top of the world and accepts your shortcomings. That is a person who is worth waking up to.

Do not hold your ex’s mistakes against future partners – You are entitled to the fear that comes with feeling like you have had your heart ripped out of your chest. But it is important that you understand not everyone in your life is going to hurt you. Do not make the mistake of thinking that your exes faults are that of every person you meet and/or spend time with. Leave your baggage in the past.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket – It is okay to be cautious in the beginning. There is no race or time frames. Get to know someone before you give them everything. The more you give before the relationship status is established the more vulnerable you will be to getting hurt.

Trust your intuition – Listen to your intuition. Do not force yourself to feel something that is not there. Your gut instincts are more often than not a expression of your true thoughts.

Try new avenues – You had no luck with your previous partner meeting them the way you did, why not try different avenues of meeting new people. Even something you have never thought about can be successful. Perhaps invest your time in a new hobby that allows you to mingle with others who have the same passion for what you enjoy doing? There is more than one way to meet new people. You could benefit from doing some research on places to meet new people.

Don'ts in a Long Distance Relationship

Just like any relationship you may experience, the long distance variety is a work in progress.  Unfortunately it requires that little bit extra attention in areas that  normally wouldn't be of great importance. Here are a few pointers for those of you experiencing a long distance relationship.  A lot of advice provided in this area focuses on the Do's and neglects to mention those things that should be avoided.

Don’t expect too much – In the majority of cases long distance relationships are due to one needing to be elsewhere for their job.  Do not expect your partner to be available to message, talk or Skype just because you are not busy.  Keep in mind that they are there to work and time differences are also something to consider.  Just because they are not talking to you, does not mean that they are doing something they shouldn’t be.  Do not let your mind and assumptions get the better of you.

Don’t put yourself in certain situations – Long distance relationships can leave you miserable and lonely.  Do not allow yourself to be in situations that could potentially destroy what you have with your partner.  Opt out of spending time alone with someone who may be a sexual interest, especially if there is alcohol involved.  It would be a shame to jeopardise your relationship just because you are feeling vulnerable.   Be realistic when making decisions about when it comes to situations that may become out of your control. 

Don’t overdo contact – Although the urgency to hear from your partner has amplified, even in a no distance relationship we all need space to do our own thing.  Do not suffocate your partner every second of every day just because they are out of reach.  Remember that you both still have a life of your own, as you would if you were living together.

Don’t expect him or her to come to you all the time – Frequent visits can become very expensive.  Do not expect your partner to always be the one to come to you.  Share the travel between each other.  Also remember just because your partner may have a break from what is keeping them away from you, does not mean that they are realistically able to be by your side.  If you share the travel cost amongst you, it will ensure you have more time together and take the burden of just one of you.

Don’t Flirt – Avoid flirting.  This could give the other person the idea that you are interested and available and get you into situations that could have been avoided.  Save the flirtatiousness for your partner who you are longing to see.

Don’t expect your relationship to fail – If you are a believer that long distance relationships never work out in the end, do your partner a favour and don’t pursue the avenue in the first place.  It will save a lot of your partner’s time when you eventually give up on the idea.  Long distance relationships take a lot of investment and if you are not willing to give it your all, don’t be cruel by allowing your partner to think you’re in it for the long haul.

Don’t Lie – If you can believe it possible, communication is even more important in a long distance relationship.  Be honest with your partner on how you feel.  If you need a day to yourself let your partner know.  Avoid making excuses for why you cannot take their phone call or reply to their emails.  If you start telling the little fibs, it is only a matter of time before you are dishonest about the bigger things of greater importance.


Remember, realistically it may never get easier being away from the person you love and unless someone is/has experienced the distance you are feeling then they are not going to understand how it makes you feel.  But it is important on those hard days to remind yourself that everyday you spend away from each other is one day closer to the day you will see them again.  


Why not buy something to keep in your wardrobe for the day you reignite.  Affordable lingerie and accessories are available here. 


Find our other articles relating to long distance relationships here:-
7 Tips to cope when your partner is away
Valentine's Day for Long Distance Couples