Starting a new relationship after a broken heart

Make sure you are ready – Beginning a new relationship is no way to cure a broken heart. Make sure that you are ready to move on and are not doing it for the wrong reasons. Give yourself some time to feel the heartache. Let your past settle. When you are happy within yourself and are not constantly haunted by positive memories of your relationship with your ex, then you will be ready to move on to the next romantic chapter in your life.

Avoid romanticism – It is unrealistic to think that a partner can meet all your wants and desires. It is up to you to make yourself happy and this should be worked on before going into a new relationship with neediness stamped across your forehead.

Have real expectations – You now have a better idea of what you want in a partner. But make sure that your expectations of future suitors are realistic. You do not want to be hurt again so it is only natural that you are more cautious then in your previous relationship, but it is important to remember that your new partner is only human as are you.

There are plenty of fish in the sea – As lovely as the idea of soul mates is, the realism is that you can be compatible with several different people throughout your lifetime. There are a lot of people out there and this is an assurance that you never have to settle. Find someone who makes you happy and shares your life aspirations. Someone who makes you feel like you’re on top of the world and accepts your shortcomings. That is a person who is worth waking up to.

Do not hold your ex’s mistakes against future partners – You are entitled to the fear that comes with feeling like you have had your heart ripped out of your chest. But it is important that you understand not everyone in your life is going to hurt you. Do not make the mistake of thinking that your exes faults are that of every person you meet and/or spend time with. Leave your baggage in the past.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket – It is okay to be cautious in the beginning. There is no race or time frames. Get to know someone before you give them everything. The more you give before the relationship status is established the more vulnerable you will be to getting hurt.

Trust your intuition – Listen to your intuition. Do not force yourself to feel something that is not there. Your gut instincts are more often than not a expression of your true thoughts.

Try new avenues – You had no luck with your previous partner meeting them the way you did, why not try different avenues of meeting new people. Even something you have never thought about can be successful. Perhaps invest your time in a new hobby that allows you to mingle with others who have the same passion for what you enjoy doing? There is more than one way to meet new people. You could benefit from doing some research on places to meet new people.

Tips to help you move on after a break-up

Breaking up with someone, or having being left by someone can bring on so many different emotions.  Not all of them are engaging.  There are a few things to bear in mind throughout these complicated times that will make it easier to accept realities and have you heading in the right direction towards something brand new.  If a relationship doesn’t work out for you, then there is typically a reason for this.  Be honest with yourself and allow yourself to discover what these reasons are.  Do not throw in the towel surrendering to an illusive idea that you were meant to end up alone.  Things may get worse before they get better, but they will work out in the end.

Time out - Take some time to yourself to reflect on your current circumstances.  Whether you were the person to end the relationship or not, it is a good idea to take the time to mirror what has happened.  Let out any residual feelings of anger, sadness or resentment.  Take some time for yourself and do not be afraid to cry and/or feel sorry for yourself.  Do not force yourself to be over an ended relationship whether it was by you own choosing or not.  Cutting the cord does not mean that it is any less painful or difficult to accept the reasons of your decision.  Take the time to spotlight what went wrong and what it is that you seek in any future relationships. 

Take it a day at a time - The longer you are with someone, the more intense your feelings for each other become.  You become a part of each other and finding yourself separate from them can be quiet difficult to re-adapt too.  It can leave you feeling like your world no longer makes sense.  This can take time to feel normal again and re-discover who you are without that person by your side.  Do not put unrealistic expectations and time limits on your healing.  There is no rush.  Take each day as it comes and with time, each day will become that little bit easier than the one before it.

No regrets - Regretting events of the past is pointless.  What’s done is done and you have to open your eyes to the possibilities of your future.  It will not bring any benefit to your life to stew on regrets and will only leave you viewing things negatively, keeping you in that place of unhappiness.  Keep positive thoughts and leave bitterness behind and make the most of all those things in your life that you cherish.

Don’t fear moving on - Just because a relationship did not work out does not mean that you have failed.  Do not be afraid to go down that road again.  New relationships can be scary and some people put up walls to protect themselves, but if you don’t let the bricks fall down and allow someone in to really get to know you, then you will never experience the excitement that comes along with meeting someone new. Not everyone you meet thinks like the exes of your past, which means it doesn't necessary imply your past experiences will repeat themselves.

Talk it out - In a break-up, particularly a regretful or unwanted one, emotional support is an important part of moving forward.  After the initial time out from it all, talk it out with your friends and family. Keep busy and avoid being in situations that give you too much time to think about what has happened.  This will only make you relive the occurrence over and over again.  Instead surround yourself with people who will refuse to let you see anything other than the reasons it did not work.

Trust you made the right decision (if you opted out) - If you have made the decision to walk away from your partner there is every chance that you have come to that conclusion for a reason.  Whether it was a rash decision or one that you had been thinking about for a while. Perhaps you were feeling like you deserve better, were over the lies, feel out of love with that person, distance was too much to bear, or just merely that you and your partner wanted different things in life and you didn't want to give up your dreams and sacrifice what you wanted for the sake of someone else.  Break-ups happen for many different reasons and at the end of the day, the cause is rarely unfounded. Do not let your ex make you feel guilty or question what you want.  Everybody deserves to live life the way they choose, not the way someone else wants them too.  It is your life and your heart and if you are not happy with who you are with, then what is the point?

It is not the end of the world (if your partner opted out) - There is one reassuring way to look at a relationship that has ended without your control or approval.  You have to ask yourself, “Why would I want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me?”  Everybody deserves to be with someone who couldn't imagine life without them by their side.  Do not grovel or over grieve for someone who does not feel this way about you. And perhaps most importantly, do not contact your ex.  This will only prevent you from taking the necessary steps to move on to the next chapter of your love life.  You may not see it yet, but something new and electrifying is on the next page waiting for you when you’re good and ready.