Tips to help with insecurities

Often insecurities tend to stem from our own thoughts of imperfection, as oppose to any real reasoning from the people who are causing the insecurity. Here are a few things to remember before letting insecurities and jealousy get the better of you.

1. Believe in yourself. See the positives within the person you are. It is not about weighing a certain amount or being perfect in everything that you do. No one is perfect and it is unrealistic to put that burden upon yourself to live up too. Respect yourself and treat yourself with the same decency you would anyone else. Never let anyone else's opinion stop you from being the person you want to be.

2. Do not dwell on insecure thoughts. You do not have to give in to every little thought that pops into your mind. This leads to mental pictures that can leave you thinking the worse not only about yourself, but people close to you as well. Jealousy is the biggest result of over thinking those insecure thoughts that pop into our minds. Making up scenarios in your mind is the worst thing you can do. Talk to y our partner about how you are feeling. Even if they do not agree with you, they may be able to convince you that you are of the wrong thinking. No one is a mind reader. Stop the assumptions and base your feelings on what you know. Do not however let someone make you feel like you do not have the right to feel what you feel.

3. Embrace what is. No one can know what is just around the corner. There is no point in worrying about things you cannot control. Embrace what is and succumb to the excitement of the unknown. Spend less time dwelling on the negatives and have conviction in the presence of good. Stop obsessing about the future. What will be, will be and worrying about the future is a waste of liveliness.

4. Failure is a part of growth. Stop judging yourself for the mistakes that you have made along the way. No one is perfect and making mistakes is how we learn to become better people. Do not judge yourself by the amount of mistakes that you have made. You cannot have great success, without falling down a few times first. Every time you feel yourself judging the mistakes you have made, turn it around and focus on those things that you have accomplished with pride.

5. Choose the right company. Do not waste time with people who make you feel bad about yourself or what you want out of life. Their negative energy about what you want for yourself, will only make you look down on who you are. If someone does not appreciate you for who you are and not who they want you to be, then they are not worth your time… Or your tears.

6. Avoid Expectations. Avoid thinking there is a way a relationship should be and seeing negatives if it is not how you expect. There are no real rules to how a relationship is. At the end of the day, if you are happy within your relationship, then that is what counts. Not all couples act the same, so you should not expect that every relationship is the same. Let go of the need to control every little thing. This will only make you insecure about you and your partner’s connection.

7. Do not compare previous relationships to new ones. Many insecurities in relationships come from experiences of the past. Stop judging someone’s possible actions by something that your exes have done in the past. Do not allow your fear of being hurt ruin your relationship by making you expect the worse.

8. Trust your partner. Being in a relationship is taking a chance and believing that the person you are spending time with is genuine. Exercise giving the benefit of the doubt. Do not give in to insecure thoughts, unless there is legit evidence to believe them.

9. Be confident and affectionate. Show affection with your partner. The simple returned affection and response to this will make you reassured and confident within yourself, merely by knowing that your affection is mutual.

Get Behind Daffodil Day

Why don't you put your spare change to good use.  Daffodil Day is in the coming days.  Every little bit helps in search of a cure for cancer. Unfortunately we have all known someone who has been affected by cancer.  Let's all put in what we can to ensure that less people have to go through the suffering that comes with this horrible disease.

Thanks to the Official Daffodil Day Website, here are some facts that we could all benefit to know.

Daffodil Day Facts

• Cancer Council's Daffodil Day 2012 is Friday 24th August
• Website URL: www.daffodilday.com.au
• Info line: 1300 65 65 85
• Daffodil Day is for all of us to grow hope for a brighter, cancer-free future
• The largest national fundraising event of its kind in the Southern Hemisphere, Daffodil Day raises essential funds for cancer research, prevention and support services
• The daffodil is the international symbol of hope for all touched by cancer
• This year Daffodil Day aims to raise over $9.2 million to fund the cancer control initiatives, patient support and research services of Cancer Council's eight state and territory member organisations
• More than 10,000 volunteers are expected to staff over 1,200 Daffodil Day sites across Australia

Cancer Facts

• There are more than 100 types of cancers.
• Any part of the human body can be affected.
• The most common cancers in men are: Lung, Stomach, Liver, Colorectal and Oesophagus.
• The most common cancers in woman are: Breast, Lung, Stomach, Colorectal and Cervical. 
• Tobacco use is the principal avoidable  source of cancer.
• More than 30% of cancers could be cured if detected early and treated sufficiently.  

 

Love vs. Lust

Love and lust has been known to be confused with each other, particularly if it is something that you have never experienced before. Although sex is a fulfilling and important part of a relationship, it should never be the reason you spend time together. If this is the case you might want to reassess your intentions with the following information. It is love, not lust that is the foundation of a relationship.

lust

  [luhst] noun
1. intense sexual desire or appetite.
2. uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite;lecherousness.
3. a passionate or overmastering desire or craving (usuallyfollowed by for): a lust for power.
4. ardent enthusiasm; zest; relish: an enviable lust for life.
5. Obsolete .
a. pleasure or delight.
b. desire; inclination; wish.

love
   [luhv] noun
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, asfor a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person;sweetheart.
5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection,or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?

SIGNS OF LUST

• You're over observant with a person's appearance. 
• You're only interested in having sex but not in having any kind of discussions. 
• You prefer to avoid any personal discussions or do not offer any personal details about yourself. 
• Once the sex is over, you do not feel the need to stick around. 
• You are intimate with each other sexually, but that is where it ends. 

SIGNS OF LOVE

• You want to spend quality time together other than for the purpose of sexual acts. 
• You enjoy talking about yourself and enjoy hearing about them. 
• You want to make that person happy. 
• He or she encourages you to be the best person you can possibly be. 
• You look forward to discovering that person’s world and get to know the people in their lives.

Tips for Moving in Together

Moving in together for the first time is a big step. It opens your eyes to your partner’s imperfections, which may have gone unnoticed when you were living apart. Irritations may occur during the initial stages of the move. Try your best not to take them out on each other.  This is something that you are in on together.  Here are a few tips to make the transition unproblematic on you both.

Ground Rules – Set out the ground rules in the early stages so that you are both aware of what each other consider acceptable and unacceptable to ensure that you are not treading on each other’s toes.

Budget – Before you take the leap be sure to work out a budget that you are both willing to stick too. Divisions can occur if the expenses keep falling on one person.

Alone time – Moving in together gives you access to each other 24/7. But you do not want to be in each other’s faces all the time. To guarantee that you do not get on each other’s nerves, it is important that you take some time out for yourself. Do not expect to be constantly at each other’s side. You each have your own hobbies that should not be neglected because you are no longer living apart. Give each other the space to continue being you.

Get out of the house – Just because you have now got a place of your own, does not mean that you still can’t get out of the house together. Do not allow yourself to be stuck in a rut. Doing your own thing is essential, but you must also be willing to make the effort to spend time together outside of your new home.

Respect privacy – Respect that some things are private. You may be sharing a place, but this does not mean that you cannot still have the privacy you are entitled too.

House Work/cooking – Divide the house work and the cooking between the two of you. Do not expect your partner to do all the work. It should be a combined effort.

Share the decorating – Re-decorate your house together to express the visions of who both of you are. Have fun with it and let your new house express who you are individually as well as put across both of you as a couple.

Communicate – If you are not happy with something occurring in your new place, be sure to talk about it. Remember that nobody is perfect, nor are any two people the same. You have to be willing to compromise to keep a happy environment alive. Expect differences and disagreements to occur as a result.

Keep it interesting - Do not stop making effort in your relationship.  You can find affordable lingerie and accessories here for your partner to appreciate.

Do not be afraid to open yourself up to a new adventure.  Moving in together can be a scary thought, but if you respect each others needs as an individual, it can also be a fulfilling experience for you both.

50 Shades of Grey - Totally Hooked

For the past week I have joined many women all over the world and surrendered myself to the world of 50 Shades of Grey. The long weekend just gone, found me constantly embracing the words of one of the three E. L. James books and it was one of the best weekends I have had in a long time. Oh, the power of a great story playing out in your mind. 

This trilogy has been on the mouths of many for quite some time now, but after reading this book review by Kristy Berridge, I went out and got my very own copy! I was hooked from the first words in chapter one. It is addictive and as the curiosity builds with every page, your heart goes giddy-up and you find yourself romanticizing the “shades of fucked up” Christen Grey in this incredibly erotic tale of emotional scars and surrendering to feelings of passionate love.

Now I am more than half way through the third and final book and I find myself dreading the final words. Although I have no doubt that the ending will tie together nicely, it will be a less satisfying end to a work day or capture of a weekend. I'm trying to pace myself to prolong the end, but as per the other two books I cannot put it down. The only soften to the blow is knowing that a movie is in the works. Many women all over the world have had their imaginations invaded with images of Christian Grey and his controlling ways.

A lot of names are flying around as to who will play Ana Steele and Christian Grey, but I believe I haven’t found anything official in my browsing. Matt Bomer is my Christian. He’s undeniably handsome and brooding and has a lost and broken quality in his eyes that you just want to lose yourself in. Alexis Bledel is my idea of Ana. She is incredibly beautiful, but by the same token naive to it. Who do you envision when you lose yourself in the 50 Shades series? 

Leave a comment with your answers and let us know your thoughts on the 50 Shades Trilogy.

I will leave you with a synopsis for 50 Shades of Grey to ensure that any of you out there who haven’t read it, WILL.  Laters :D

When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms.

Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.

Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.


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Starting a new relationship after a broken heart

Make sure you are ready – Beginning a new relationship is no way to cure a broken heart. Make sure that you are ready to move on and are not doing it for the wrong reasons. Give yourself some time to feel the heartache. Let your past settle. When you are happy within yourself and are not constantly haunted by positive memories of your relationship with your ex, then you will be ready to move on to the next romantic chapter in your life.

Avoid romanticism – It is unrealistic to think that a partner can meet all your wants and desires. It is up to you to make yourself happy and this should be worked on before going into a new relationship with neediness stamped across your forehead.

Have real expectations – You now have a better idea of what you want in a partner. But make sure that your expectations of future suitors are realistic. You do not want to be hurt again so it is only natural that you are more cautious then in your previous relationship, but it is important to remember that your new partner is only human as are you.

There are plenty of fish in the sea – As lovely as the idea of soul mates is, the realism is that you can be compatible with several different people throughout your lifetime. There are a lot of people out there and this is an assurance that you never have to settle. Find someone who makes you happy and shares your life aspirations. Someone who makes you feel like you’re on top of the world and accepts your shortcomings. That is a person who is worth waking up to.

Do not hold your ex’s mistakes against future partners – You are entitled to the fear that comes with feeling like you have had your heart ripped out of your chest. But it is important that you understand not everyone in your life is going to hurt you. Do not make the mistake of thinking that your exes faults are that of every person you meet and/or spend time with. Leave your baggage in the past.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket – It is okay to be cautious in the beginning. There is no race or time frames. Get to know someone before you give them everything. The more you give before the relationship status is established the more vulnerable you will be to getting hurt.

Trust your intuition – Listen to your intuition. Do not force yourself to feel something that is not there. Your gut instincts are more often than not a expression of your true thoughts.

Try new avenues – You had no luck with your previous partner meeting them the way you did, why not try different avenues of meeting new people. Even something you have never thought about can be successful. Perhaps invest your time in a new hobby that allows you to mingle with others who have the same passion for what you enjoy doing? There is more than one way to meet new people. You could benefit from doing some research on places to meet new people.

Top 5 topics to avoid on a first date

First dates can be a daunting experience in themselves. To make something that could be extremely rewarding for you and your date less awkward, here are few topics that could be considered inappropriate on a first date. Remember that you are there to get to know each other, but you do not have to cross any lines while doing so, that may make your date uncomfortable.  There is plenty of time to get to know each other and there is no reason to dig too deep too soon.

1. Past Relationships – Talking about your ex/es is never a good idea in the beginning of a new relationship. Leave your ex in the past where they should be and focus on who is right in front of you! 
2. Religion – your belief or disbelief in a higher power may be a very important subject to you. But a first date is not the time or place to discuss it. Leave such a sensitive topic until you really get to know someone. 
3. Sex – If you bring up this subject on a first date it is most likely going to be in the other persons thought that you have a one tracked mind and are only dating for one reason. There are many other subjects to visit and there should be no reason to have to resort to a subject that could be potentially embarrassing for your date. 
4. Money – How much your date earns is not important enough to broach on a first date. Nor is it the place to brag about how much you earn. Money is not of great importance to everyone and you do not want your date to think that it is all you care about. 
5. Marriage and Kids – You don’t want to come down to heavy on your first date by listing how many children you want to have and when you envision being married. The last thing you want to do is scare of a new love interest before they have gotten to know you. If you have children already and do not want to be rejected for that mere fact, insure that your date knows of this prior to going out with them to minimise any disappointments.