Romantic Ideas for Men From Real Women

Psst… Excuse me guys! I’ll let you in on a little secret…. Woman are fully aware that the legend of Don Juan is nothing more than a tale of a fictional libertine that could make every woman fall under his spell and weak at the knees. We know that grand romantic gestures have their place on the big screen in the latest flick starring Johnny Depp and Rachel McAdams, or the latest Nicholas Sparks book, but ultimately that they portray an unrealistic expectation for love of our time in the real world. When it comes down to what makes a women gush, it’s the small gestures that really count.

To give all the clueless men out there an idea of what real woman consider romantic here is a list of romantic hints suggested by women of the real world. Don’t be shy gentlemen; show your woman you have a little romanticism within you after all by putting some of these ideas to use.

• “A man who looks after me when I am drunk.” – Alisha 
• “When a man does the cooking and cleaning without being asked.” – Suzie 
• “A simple text message or poem to show that they are thinking about you.” – Margaret 
• “Spontaneously reliving inside jokes that only the two of you are privy too.” – Tiffany 
• “When I think romantic I think surprises.” – Melissa 
• “A bunch of flowers sent to me at work… for no reason at all.” – Melanie 
• “Pulling out chairs and opening doors, a sure sign for me that chivalry isn't dead.” – Annie 
• "I like when I come home from work and he has the whole house cleaned, bed made nicely, dinner prepared, then he cooks while I get to relax, then we lay and snuggle with a movie." - Nikki 
• "When my partner goes to the shop without me and I tell him to get me a surprise and he brings me home a book." - Leigh 
• "When a man knows exactly how to put a smile on your face without having to ask him" - G 
• "A man who cooks and cleans for you." - Patricia 
• "When your partner pays attention to everything you say and remembers the little details." - Minjo 
• "A man that is not afraid to tell you he loves you." - Stacey 
• "Someone who compliments you on your efforts in your appearance." - Eva 
• "Someone that introduces you as the best thing that's ever happened to them." - Laura 
• "Someone who stops on the way home to pick up your favourite dessert." - Kate 
• "Getting a foot massage while relaxing on the couch." - Joan 
• "A man that randomly tucks your hair behind your ear or kisses you on the forehead or cheek." - Rachel 
• "A man who tells you everyday how beautiful you are." Justine 
• "A man who rings you every night when he is away from you, just so he can hear your voice and tell you how much you mean to him and how much he loves you." - Ingrid

At the end of the day think small gestures that are personal. This will be easier the more you know the person you are trying to be romantic for. Any woman will appreciate gestures (big or small) that suggest to her that she is important enough to you, for you to have made the effort.

So what-do-ya know guys, us women are actually really easy to please.  Remember to think romantic thoughts... The woman in your life will make it worth while! :) And to the ladies that read this blog, please feel free to put your suggestions in the comment box below.

I will leave you with the famous quote from the 1994 film Don Juan DeMarco: 

"There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love." 

Common mistakes couples make in long distance relationships

Do not refuse to get a webcam – put your self-consciousness aside and invest in a webcam.  There is no better way to keep yourself invested in your efforts of a long distance relationship then seeing your partners’ facial expressions when you talk to each other.  It is important to remember that men in particular are very visual people. 

Assume your partner knows how you feel – Do not stop talking to your partner about how you feel.  Just because you are sharing the situation does not mean you shouldn’t share how it makes you feel and definitely do not neglect to let them know they still mean the world to you. 

Taking your partner for granted – do not make the mistake of taking your partner for granted. Do not stop making effort because you assume you always have your partner.  Long distance relationships require more effort than a no distance relationship to keep the love and spark alive and kicking.  Do not lose appreciation for the connection that was too strong to call it quits when you become separated.

Not having a plan – do not be blasé about what is to come or have the attitude that you will take it as it comes.  Have a plan of where you would like to be in the future.  Make a plan as to visits and keeping each other close even though you are far apart.

Accusations of the unknown – Long distance relationships come with their fair share of paranoid feelings of what your partner is up to and who they are with.  Do not let this take over and find yourself accusing your partner of something you have no proof of ever happening.  Trust is key; no relationship can survive without trust.  Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.  Have faith that they love you too much to through it away on a fling when you are apart.

Ignoring the life that’s in front of you – succumbing to your loneliness will only make it that much harder for you to deal with what is.  Go on about the life that is right in front of you.  Do not allow yourself to sit by the phone and pine away for the next time you get to hear your partner’s voice.  Keep yourself busy, but not so busy that you can never be reached when your partner is able to contact you.

7 Stages of Grief

1. SHOCK 
Losing someone you love can be one of the most excruciating things that come with life.  You find yourself looking down on your body in such a state of shock that you find yourself numb to the reality and on some level even denying the truth merely out of disbelief.  This is an emotional security that gets mournful people through the initial heart-wrenching pain.  There are no set times for these stages in the grieving process as everyone’s experience is different. But this state of denial can last weeks.

2. PAIN
Sooner or later the reality will take over your primary shock and denial and be replaced with near unbearable pain.  A lot of people make many bad choices to break away from this pain and feel anything else.  Alcohol and drugs are not the solution to this stage.  It is crucial to your grieving process that you feel the blunt of your loss and feel the full extent of what has happened.

3. ANGER & BARGAINING Frustration comes next and causes no shortage of anger.  You may lash out and blame others for your loss.  It is important to do all you can to control this.  There is no point in causing permanent damage to your relationships with the people who are still with you. Find other ways to release your bottled up emotions.  Bargaining with a higher power also occurs during this time.  Your faith becomes apparent as you beg the powers that be to bring this person back to you, all the while making promises and bargains that you wouldn’t otherwise be considering.

4. DEPRESSION A long phase of reflection and sadness follows the anger and bargaining.  Perhaps because you realise that not even a higher power can bring this person back and that you have no choice but to go on with life alone.  Depression is a normal stage of the grieving process and should not be avoided.  People may try and get you out of this stage, but it is important that you take the time to accept what is and process it to its full extent.

5. THE UPWARD TURN Your depression will begin to fade slowly once you find yourself adjusting to a life without the person you have lost.  Life will eventually become easier and structure will return as you come at peace with your loss.

6. RECONSTRUCTION  When you begin thinking realistically and more clearly again you will be able to see solutions to problems that have arisen as a result of your loss.  You will start to reconstruct your life to continue without your loved one.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE The final phase in the seven stages of grief reward you with acceptance and hope for your future.  Acceptance does not promise immediate happiness, but given the rollercoaster of emotions that you have experience during your grief, it is important to remember that if you can get to this point after that, then a way forward is at arm’s length.  It will never be okay that someone is gone, but it does get easier.  Eventually you will find yourself in a place that you can look back on the memories of your loved one with a smile on your face as opposed to tears in your eyes, a place that brings hope for a redesigned future.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month - OCTOBER

During the Month of October Confidence is Key Lingerie will be donating $2.00 from every order placed to the National Breast Cancer Foundation.  We are honored to get behind such an important cause.  We encourage you to give what you can in support of a future without cancer.  Here are a few Breast Cancer facts that can be found on our website.  This information was gathered from several different Breast Cancer Awareness sources to give you accurate facts.

Breast Cancer Awareness and Facts

 Did you know? 

• Sadly, one in 11 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer before the age of 75
• Breast cancer is the most common cause of cancer related death of women in Australia
• The commonness of breast cancer has risen over 20% from 1996 to 2006 and the death rate has remained constant in the same period of time
• In Australia in 2006, a total of 12,614 women and 102 men were diagnosed with breast cancer and out of these cases there were 2,643 deaths

What it is

Breast cancer is a swelling in the breast that is caused by uncontrolled growth and abnormal cells. It is most common in women over 50 and although it can occur in men it's very unusual.

Breast cancer begins in the milk ducts or milk lobules of the breast. Non-invasive breast cancers stay within the ducts; invasive breast cancers which are more familiar, occur when the cancer spreads beyond the ducts or lobes to the neighboring breast tissue and may also spread to further parts of the body. 

There's no known cause of breast cancer however the possible risk factors include: 

• Becoming older
• Having a strong family history of breast cancer
• Early periods or late menopause
• Not breast-feeding
• Not having children
• Taking hormone replacement therapy after menopause
• Being overweight after menopause
• Alcohol consumption
• Taking contraceptive pill

 Changes in breast tissue are common symptoms of the disease. These include: 

• A change to the size or shape of breasts
• A different shape to nipples
• Dimpled skin
• A rash on or around the nipple
• Discharge from the nipple
• Swelling or a lump in your armpit
• Pain in the breast area

Although 9 out of 10 breast changes don't turn out to be breast cancer it is always sensible to have anything you feel is out of the ordinary checked by your Doctor.  

To diagnose breast cancer a doctor will give a physical examination and discuss symptoms and medical history. Other tests include: 

• Blood tests, bone tests, chest X-rays
• Ultrasounds and mammograms
• Core biopsy – large needle is used to take a small sample of cells
• Open biopsy – surgical removal of a whole area for testing
• Hormonal tests – when cancer isn't discovered, it can be checked for special markers to see if it responds to hormonal treatment
• Ductogram tests when the nipples have a discharge

 Who it affects

The cause of breast cancer isn't known but women are much more likely to get breast cancer than men. Other risk factors are listed above.  Although breast cancer cases are much more common in women who are over the age of 50, yet it can happen to both men and woman of all ages.

 Preventions 

• Early detection is the best way to prevent breast cancer being diagnosed too late
• Get to know the look and feel of your breasts
• For women under 50, doctors advise you do self examinations every Month after your period
• For women aged 50-69, bi-annual mammograms are available through the national breast-screening program
• See you doctor if you notice any breast changes

 Treatment

Treatments for breast cancer include surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and hormone therapy.  The type of treatment you'll receive is determined by the type of cancer, how advanced it is and how much it has spread, whether or not you've been through menopause, the results of tests on your cancer cells, you age and general health.

Surgery is the first treatment for most people with breast cancer. A lumpectomy is where a lump is removed and some of the surrounding tissue is taken; a mastectomy is where the whole breast is removed.

Other treatments may include: 

• Radiotherapy – destroys cancer cells through radiation
• Chemotherapy – uses medicines to destroy cancer cells
• Hormone treatments – hormones such as estrogen and progesterone can affect the growth of breast cancer cells. Taking hormones to block these hormones can treat some kinds of breast cancer

Get Involved  

If you would like to give your help to support breast cancer research to minimise the amount of woman in the world who suffer and/or lose their lives to this unfortunate disease, please follow these links below.

• Make a difference and donate at: http://www.nbcf.org.au/page.asp?category_id=12&page_id=396
• Show your support and purchase a gift for yourself or a loved one from the pink store at:http://www.pinkribbonshop.org.au
• Follow the National Breast cancer Foundation on Facebook and share the important cause with your friends at: http://www.facebook.com/NBCFAustralia

 For Further information           

Breast Cancer Australia	www.breastcanceraustralia.org	1300 850 551
National Breast Cancer Foundation	www.nbcf.org.au	1300 708 763
Breast Cancer Network Australia	www.bcna.org.au	1800 500 258
Breast Screen Australia Program	www.cancerscreening.gov.au	13 20 50

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

This article is for those of you out there who have been cheated on and are left wondering if you can forgive and forget such a deception.  The feeling you are left with after someone cheats on you, is quite likely one of the lowest feelings that you can possibly feel.  You are left feeling worthless, betrayed and devastated.  You have never felt so low in your whole life and the only thing that you should be asking yourself is, if he/she loves me, would they do something to put me in such a dark unshakeable place?  The answer is NO.  You obviously love this person more than they do you.  Simply put, you deserve better.

It is easier to let go of someone after such a betrayal, then to find it in yourself to forgive them for something so horrible.  Many would argue that sex is just body parts, particularly men, but the truth of the matter is if you really care deeply about someone and are serious about your relationship with them than you wouldn't have it in yourself to cheat on them.  How committed can someone be to deceive the person they supposedly love?  The situation in which the betrayal happens is irrelevant.  If you find yourself unable to stop a temptation from manifesting into reality, then you are not fully committed to the relationship that you are already in.

After a betrayal, the trust you once had is completely shattered.  Trust is something that takes time to begin and takes longer to re-discover then to initiate.  If you cannot trust someone you are in a relationship with, then you will find yourself questioning where your partner is, who he/she is with and what he/she is doing.  This is no way to live.  You will always have that doubt in the back of your mind that your partner is playing up on you.

Do I believe that once a cheater, always a cheater? Well in my opinion, if the foundations in a relationship are not solid enough to prevent an initial occurrence, then I think the connection between two people is not what it is meant to be in a committed relationship.  Cheating is a breaker, in which once broken, cannot be repaired.  Regret of a betrayal is not enough to repair or excuse the damage that has been done.  If you feel that you can forgive your partner for something so hurtful, then you must also be capable of the forgetting as well, or it will eventually tear you apart.

Ultimately it is a personal decision to forgive and forget, however love is an overwhelming emotion that takes you over completely and everyone deserves a love that lives up to that.  You will do well to remember this next time you find yourself wondering if your cheating partner deserves a second chance.  With the right person this kind of love is out there.  You owe it to yourself to guarantee that you don’t settle for anything less.  If you are not enough for someone then they don’t deserve any part of you.

Tips for Meeting the Parents

Meeting the parents for the first time is an enormous step in any relationship. Here are a few things to remember when meeting the couple liable for bringing your special person into the world.

Don’t Rush – Meeting the parents is one of the biggest occurrences in a relationship. Do not rush into getting to know your partners family. It is your relationship with your partner that you have to focus on first. It is important that you find out what you mean to each other before bringing in the folks.

Background information – Make the effort to do some research on interests etc of your partner’s family members to ensure that conversation is not awkward and minimum. This way you will be able to keep the conversation going with insights of what everyone is involved in.

Dress Appropriately – Do not dress in showy or uncomfortable outfits. You do not want to be fiddling with your attire the whole evening or showing off more skin than either of his/her parents can tolerate. Dress to impress the parentals.

Show up on time – Lateness can be viewed as a sign of lack of care and/or laziness. Make a good first impression and be where you are meant to be, when you are meant to be there. Remember, arriving early is more recommended then showing up late.

Don’t go empty handed – Whether it is a bottle of wine or some of you partners parents favourite chocolate, it is nice to show that you have put in a bit of thought into a “nice to meet you” gift.

Be yourself – Remember that your partner is with you because they like you for who you are and they no doubt want their parents to know the real you. So be entirely you. Do not pretend to be who you think they want you to be. With this being said, always be on your best behavior. Demonstrate the manners you were instilled with and refrain from swearing.

Join in – Many families have traditions that have been in the family for generations. Join in to any games or customs that may present themselves during the evening. You may never have heard of the game, but embrace whatever comes.

Don’t drink too much – A couple of drinks with dinner to calm your nerves is acceptable. But do not go overboard with your alcohol consumption and wind up making a fool of yourself.

Light and Fun – Only broach topics that are unlikely to begin debates and possibly offend people if opinions differ. These topics include but are not limited to, Religion, Politics and Sexual Orientation.

Tips to help with insecurities

Often insecurities tend to stem from our own thoughts of imperfection, as oppose to any real reasoning from the people who are causing the insecurity. Here are a few things to remember before letting insecurities and jealousy get the better of you.

1. Believe in yourself. See the positives within the person you are. It is not about weighing a certain amount or being perfect in everything that you do. No one is perfect and it is unrealistic to put that burden upon yourself to live up too. Respect yourself and treat yourself with the same decency you would anyone else. Never let anyone else's opinion stop you from being the person you want to be.

2. Do not dwell on insecure thoughts. You do not have to give in to every little thought that pops into your mind. This leads to mental pictures that can leave you thinking the worse not only about yourself, but people close to you as well. Jealousy is the biggest result of over thinking those insecure thoughts that pop into our minds. Making up scenarios in your mind is the worst thing you can do. Talk to y our partner about how you are feeling. Even if they do not agree with you, they may be able to convince you that you are of the wrong thinking. No one is a mind reader. Stop the assumptions and base your feelings on what you know. Do not however let someone make you feel like you do not have the right to feel what you feel.

3. Embrace what is. No one can know what is just around the corner. There is no point in worrying about things you cannot control. Embrace what is and succumb to the excitement of the unknown. Spend less time dwelling on the negatives and have conviction in the presence of good. Stop obsessing about the future. What will be, will be and worrying about the future is a waste of liveliness.

4. Failure is a part of growth. Stop judging yourself for the mistakes that you have made along the way. No one is perfect and making mistakes is how we learn to become better people. Do not judge yourself by the amount of mistakes that you have made. You cannot have great success, without falling down a few times first. Every time you feel yourself judging the mistakes you have made, turn it around and focus on those things that you have accomplished with pride.

5. Choose the right company. Do not waste time with people who make you feel bad about yourself or what you want out of life. Their negative energy about what you want for yourself, will only make you look down on who you are. If someone does not appreciate you for who you are and not who they want you to be, then they are not worth your time… Or your tears.

6. Avoid Expectations. Avoid thinking there is a way a relationship should be and seeing negatives if it is not how you expect. There are no real rules to how a relationship is. At the end of the day, if you are happy within your relationship, then that is what counts. Not all couples act the same, so you should not expect that every relationship is the same. Let go of the need to control every little thing. This will only make you insecure about you and your partner’s connection.

7. Do not compare previous relationships to new ones. Many insecurities in relationships come from experiences of the past. Stop judging someone’s possible actions by something that your exes have done in the past. Do not allow your fear of being hurt ruin your relationship by making you expect the worse.

8. Trust your partner. Being in a relationship is taking a chance and believing that the person you are spending time with is genuine. Exercise giving the benefit of the doubt. Do not give in to insecure thoughts, unless there is legit evidence to believe them.

9. Be confident and affectionate. Show affection with your partner. The simple returned affection and response to this will make you reassured and confident within yourself, merely by knowing that your affection is mutual.