Tips for taking a break in a relationship

Many may consider taking a break from a relationship a major occurrence. But whether you need to take a step back to decide what you really want, open your partners’ eyes to a serious wrong doing or just to have some breathing space to focus on yourself, sometimes taking a break can be the right move for you. Occasionally in a relationship you discover things that you wish you hadn’t and are unsure whether you can forgive them. Other times you can feel neglected, disrespected or just trapped.  There are many reasons/situations that people choose to follow this road.  Taking a break can be an excellent way to assess your partnership and establish whether it is something you desire to persist in the future.

Taking a break could be the occurrence that your relationship requires to endure and can regularly bring you closer when the choice is made to reunite. Keep in mind that your partner may not react well to the suggestion of a break from each other. Your partner may get angry, upset or even give you the cold shoulder. There is no guarantee that they will want to talk about it or accept your decision. Here are a few tips to help you when considering to take a break in your relationship.

Discuss Why - Firstly, discuss with your partner why you feel that you need to do this. Breaks can often be seen as an end. Assure your partner that you have not made a decision yet and need this time to decide what it is you really want.

Set Ground Rules - Ground rules are important to any break within a relationship. If something occurs during this time that you are not accepting of, you cannot hold it against your partner if they did not know the guidelines of your break. In order for a break to work both parties must agree to the rules. I.e. Are you aloud to date other people? It is important to discuss what is and isn't acceptable during this time apart.

Decide Time Frame - When agreeing to a break, establish a time that you will regroup to discuss your decision. If you are not sure how long you will need, make an estimation and inform your partner that you may need more time than this.

Keep in Contact - Just because you are taking a break from each other does not mean that you cannot have any contact at all with your partner. It is important to keep the lines of communication open. Taking a break does not mean shutting each other out and/or ignoring your partner.

Expect the Unexpected - Even if it is you that initiates the break to begin with, it is important to remember that this time apart can also change how your partner feels and what your partner may want. A break goes both ways and either of you can end the break or the relationship at any time.

At the end of the day, it is you who has to decide what you want and if you can be open to second chances, trust and/or forgiveness. Seek advise so that you feel less alone, but do not take others opinions on as your own. You are the one who has to live with your decisions. It is your life and therefore you have to live with the consequences of your decision.  Be sure that the decision you make is of your own choosing.

Building Trust in a Relationship

Trust or emotional safety in a relationship can often be a very difficult emotion to master, particularly for those who have been hurt and/or betrayed in previous relationships.  Time does not always heal wounds of our past.  Regardless, the fact of the matter is that trust is the basis of any relationship.  If you cannot trust someone you cannot have a healthy relationship with them, as these trust issues will end up destroying the relationship. It may not happen right away, though slowly but surely it will be what breaks you apart.  In order to be in a happy relationship you have to be willing to work on a mutual trust.  Here are a few pointers in building trust in your relationship for those of you who find that trust does not come naturally to you.

Be Honest – Number one rule in building trust in a relationship is merely to continuously be honest with your partner.  If your partner senses that you are being deceitful this will make it harder for them to trust you.  We do not always like what we hear but it will be a comfort to know that honesty is applied in every instance.  There is no room for secrets or lies in a healthy relationship.

Communication – Express your needs and feelings on situations with your partner.  If jealousy occurs let your partner know how it makes you feel.  They are then aware of your feelings and will take measures to let you know that there is nothing to worry about.  Give your partner a chance to set you straight and always be clear and completely honest about how you are feeling and listen carefully to their concerns in return.

Don’t hold your partner accountable for others actions – As much as you wish you could control every situation, it is unrealistic to believe this is possible.  Do not hold your partner accountable for others actions in any situation no matter how hurtful.  Your partner cannot change anyone’s feelings or events anymore then you yourself can.

Be reliable – In order for someone to surrender to trust they need to know that their partner is reliable.  If you say you are going to be somewhere, be there.  If you say you are going to do something for your partner, do it.  If you can rely on someone it makes it easier to trust them.

Don’t go to bed angry – Never let issues go unresolved.  If trust issues or jealousy occurs between you and your partner do not try and avoid the issues.  Although the conversation may not be desired it is mandatory to address them before they get even larger.  Resentment stems from feeling unheard or failing to deal with a problem.

Forget the past – Do not compare new relationships to the old ones.  Just because your previous partner may have hurt you, does not mean that your new one is even remotely capable of making the same mistakes.  Do not lay that burden on them; it is not their burden to bear. 

Remember nobody is perfect - Acknowledge that nobody is perfect and that happenings can often be different to how they appear.  Discover and compliment your partner’s qualities.  Belief in each other will facilitate trust building in any relationship.

Love is all about losing yourself in your feelings.  Take the leap and have faith that everything will work out the way it is meant too.  Building trust is not always easy and requires on-going work to keep it afloat, but it is important to remember there is no point in worrying about something that may never come to pass.  Live in the present and appreciate the happier moments of life. 

We would love your thoughts on this article. Please leave your comments below.

Tips for choosing lingerie for your figure

The most important thing for women when wearing lingerie is to feel comfortable.  The more comfortable you are, the sexier you will feel and ultimately the more confident you will be.  If you’re not sure what’s the most flattering lingerie for your body shape here are a few tips on choosing lingerie for your figure.

Whether you have great legs, impressive cleavage or toned buttocks, it is vital to your confidence to accentuate your best features.  Once you know what you want to cover up and would prefer to draw attention to, you are one step closer to finding the right style of lingerie for you.  Here are a few ideas to accentuate different parts of your body.

Babydolls and Camisoles - If you are conscious of your stomach or thighs sexy babydolls and camisoles are an appropriate choice.  These styles are perfect for covering the stomach and the tops of your thighs.  They are flowing in design and avoid clinging to your stomach.  babydolls and camisoles come in a variety of materials, so you can decide on how see-through they are depending on how big your insecurities are with these areas.  Darker colours also have a slimming effect so if you are insecure about your weight steer clear of anything pastel in colour.  You can find a range of babydolls and camisoles here.

Corsets - The corset is the suitable choice for anyone who views their cleavage as their best asset.  The corset draws attention to this area and also accentuates the natural curves of a women.  For this reason, a lot of women with curvy figures tend to choose this style of lingerie.  You can find a suitable range of corsets here.

Teddies - The teddy is great for accentuating the legs.  The body suit styled teddy makes you appear taller.  Teddies look great with stockings which will also provide extra attention to your best asset.  You can find a range of teddies here.

Matching sets with garter belt - This approach is well applied by taller women.  It shows off your stomach and accentuates your long legs.  If you have smaller breasts, you can opt for a push up bra to give you that extra lift.  If you are aiming at focusing on your legs choose a bra that doesn't give your boobs lift, but alternatively a light material bra that caresses what you naturally have. You can find garter belts and stockings here.

Matching sets with g-string - This combination is perfect for drawing attention to your bottom.  It is classic sexiness and suited best to those who consider their bum to be their best asset.  Boyleg undies can also bring success in this area. You can find a range of suitable matching sets here. 

Bra and Skirt Sets - The bra and skirt sets are more suited for those who are happy with their boobs and/or stomachs but a little self conscious of their thighs.  You can choose your bra depending on your boob volume and cover your thigh area with a pretty flowing skirt bottom.  This will lead focus to your boobs or stomach depending on what bra you decide to wear. You can find a range of bra and skirt sets here.


It doesn't matter what your insecurities, you can successfully find a lingerie style that suits you and draws your partners attention away from those areas you are self conscious of.  So why not make the effort to get something for yourself?  One will never feel as sexy as when they are wearing lingerie.  Your confidence grows with sexy lingerie, even if it's just wearing sexy undies underneath your work clothes.  

Don't take birthdays for granted

With a birthday coming up I know how easy it is to find yourself wishing time would stop so you don’t have to watch the dial on the second digit of your age tick over once again.  The fact of the matter is nobody likes getting older.  This often has us reluctant to celebrate our birthdays and we often find ourselves not wanting to admit to our age or even face the reality of all the things that we were meant to have achieved in this point in our lives, but haven’t.  Nevertheless it is important to acknowledge and cherish this day every year.  It is the one day of the year that is all about you and you never know when it is going to be your last, so by no means take it for granted. Here are a few tips to keep in mind to help each of us put ourselves in the right frame of mind to take on our birthday. 

Achievements – Don’t focus on those things that have not yet happened.  Instead celebrate those achievements in your life that you have managed.  It is always wise to focus on those things you do have rather than those things that are yet to happen.  If you look hard enough you will see that you have more to be proud of then you give yourself credit for.  If you find yourself struggling, look around you at all the people who are wishing you well on your birthday.

Indulge – This is the one time of the year when you can indulge yourself free of guilt. Get yourself pampered, book dinner at that restaurant you always wanted to go to, but could never justify the expense or go all out and take yourself away for the weekend with a few close friends. 

Appreciation – weeks in life fly by and it is easy to lose yourself in daily routine and spend less time with friends and/or family who are no longer at easy reach.  There is no better excuse to get everyone you hold dear under the same roof, then to help you celebrate your birthday. And nothing will make you feel more appreciated then having everyone take the time aside to be with  you on your birthday.

Hope – Remember that age is just a number. You are only ever as old as you feel.  Let your hope for the future keep you feeling young.  If you haven’t achieved everything you ever wanted then take comfort that you have something to look forward too.

The more you acknowledge this day and the more effort you put into celebrating it, the easier the transition to your new age will be.  Don’t let yourself sit at home alone focusing on feeling old and feeling sorry for yourself.  There is so much in life to celebrate.  There may be one more candle on the cake then last year, but that’s only because there’s one more year to be thankful for.  The greeting is "Happy Birthday." So give it a try...

In My Books - The Hunted by Kristy Berridge

In my books – (pun intended ha-ha) the only author more impressive then Nicholas Sparks, is “The Hunted’”s creator Kristy Berridge.  She has a gifted way with words that are equally relatable and effortlessly imagined.  With the exception of The Twilight Series, the supernatural fiction genre is not generally my cup of tea, so I was genuinely surprised by how much I cherished every minute of this 572 paged novel.  There is nothing you won't find among these pages. It has something for everyone to enjoy.  There is magic, vampires, werewolves, kick butt action, witty humor and above all romance.  Better yet, it is not your typical supernatural fiction and is nothing at all like anything you have already read or seen.  Berridge makes the effort and takes the time to establish the characters and their back stories in the chapters of book one in a series of five. Berridge also manages to bring new life to the fictional world of vampires and werewolves inventing new rules within the genre. This makes it unpredictable and builds curiosity the further in you get, making it difficult to put down.  

ABOUT THE BOOK

Elena Manory is by no means an ordinary teenage girl. Being born with the ability to heal herself from any injury, and with the knowledge that on her eighteenth birthday she will become a vampire, Elena is aware that she is more than a little different from other girls her age. It isn’t until she meets William Granville, an alluring and impossibly handsome vampire, that she begins to question her destiny and what secrets the Institute of Magical Intervention and her adopted family have withheld—secrets that could change the fates of not only her own life, but of the lives of all the immortals. As events spiral out of control, William may be the only person Elena can place her trust in. He, and Elena’s magical family, must fight to save her, joining forces to defeat a common, deadly foe. For William, it is his chance to save the girl that he has searched eternity to find.

The heroine in this highly-imaginative Aussie-based tale is a vampire—but she is something more. This is a fast-paced, intelligent and highly-entertaining novel … The final chapters are climatic, desperate, chilling. For a first novel, Berridge ticks all the boxes. She has the makings of a career author. To attempt what is now a well-worn theme and produce something fresh, vital and entertaining is the mark of an enterprising and crafted writer. —Wendy O’Hanlon, Acres Australia

This is a debut novel from a bright and bubbly young author. It is entertaining, quirky and has some wry touches of humour … an adventurous lightly romantic read that will appeal to teenagers and other devotees of the vampire horror genre. — John Morrow’s Pick of the Week

Furthermore, take a look at the original book trailer here.  

I am no expert book reviewer so I will keep this short, but here are my reasons “The Hunted” should be on everyone’s must read list.  Every teenager has a little bit of the main character Elena within him/her; even if it’s merely similar mocking thoughts expressed or even unspoken.  Her sarcasm and witty temperament alone makes for a good read.  The most appealing element to this novel for me would have to be the relationship between Elena and William.  The feelings between these characters are intense to say the least and Berridge realistically explores a connection between these two paranormal beings.  My romanticism aside, “The Hunted” follows a well written heroine in her effort to contend with typical teenage hormones all the while having the extra baggage of being born of the supernatural world. The climactic ending to the first book in the series leaves you anticipating what comes next in Elena's world.  It is hands down the best book I read last year.  If i had read it this year then I am quite confident it would have taken that trophy instead...   

“The Hunted” is already available on Amazon in paperback and kindle form.  As you may already know you can become a fan of this spectacularly written book on Facebook.  For all those existing fans, you may benefit to know that you do not have to wait till the release of book number two “The Damned” (expected in July 2012) to read the humorous words of Kristy Berridge.  Kristy has her own worldly popular Blogger page with over 18,000 views to date. WARNING: It is an addiction waiting to happen!  For this reason, I would hate to keep it a secret.  Nothing wrong with a healthy addiction of LAUGHTER!  Follow this link to start your obsession today!  Book number two “The Damned” is so close to release you can almost touch it.  But for the time being there's also the book trailer here to keep us on our toes.  


So why don't you join me in reading (well re-reading in my case) before "The Damned"'s pages are acting out in your imagination.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Born in Perth, Western Australia in 1982, Kristy Berridge was ushered into the world in a decade of bad hair, parachute pants, and blue eye shadow. Fortunately, she managed to avoid all three influences by immersing herself in the business of growing up, and hitched a ride with her fun-loving, and adventure-filled parents to the sunny state of Queensland. Here she completed most of her education. Besides learning that boys don’t have cooties, and that algebra wouldn’t kill her, she pointedly set the path of her high school career towards success in Art and English-based subjects, and won numerous awards for her efforts. After high school she went on to study Graphic Design and Illustration at James Cook University, and then furthered her studies at the local TAFE college with an Interior Design course. With this knowledge under her belt, she also decided to undertake a three year Design course at Rhodec International in London, to complete her education and propel her towards the successful career she now enjoys.  She currently resides in Cairns with her husband Navaro, who is her biggest support and a constant source of motivation to finish the next novel.