Little Ideas for men on Valentine’s Day

These tips may seem small, but it’s the small things that show you have put thought into making Valentine’s Day as special as it can possibly be.  Putting effort into making this day one for her to remember (even if deep down you think it is a commercialised day with no meaning), will show her that you care and have no problems with showing it.

It’s all in the words – Nothing means more to a woman then knowing how much they mean to you.  Make or even purchase a Valentine’s Day card and express how you feel with the most powerful thing there is, WORDS :)

Petal Creativity – There are many uses for rose petals and each is just as romantic as the last.  Use rose petals to sprinkle over your bed or lead a path to a table set up for a romantic dinner.  Another idea is to sprinkle them in a bubble bath for two.

Light it up – Candles of any sort are in themselves very romantic. The more the merrier, to make a serious impression.  This can be done cheaply by getting a bulk pack of tea light candles.  Be careful to place them in positions that will avoid wax dripping on inappropriate places.  You want a spectacular view, but you don’t want to require a fire extinguisher or spoil the mood by wax burns.

Raise your glass to love – Make her a cocktail that she will never forget the taste of.  Do not forget that presentation is the key.  Use strawberries on the side of the cocktail glass or buy miniature umbrellas.  Here are a few cocktail ideas especially for Valentine’s Day at http://www.bettyconfidential.com/ar/ld/a/9-tasty-valentines-day-cocktails.html

Hands on – invest in a warming massage oil and show your appreciation for her body, paying close attention.  It is a guaranteed way for returned pleasure and will open up the pleasure doors for both of you as a couple.

Corny Love – Take her to the type of movie you usually cringe over and do it with a smile on your face.  Refrain from laughing and just let her enjoy the romance of the pleasures that only comes from the equivalent of a Nicholas Sparks movie/novel.

6 Don’ts in new relationships

New relationships can be among the most exciting times of your life.  Embracing the excitement of getting to know someone and all the nervous tingles that come along with it. Unfortunately with the initial uncertainty involved during this time, they can also be a matter of delicacy and can end up faltering due to bad treatment.  Here are a few mistakes commonly made in the beginnings of a connection.  These don'ts will be useful to those who are trying to create something meaningful and long lasting.

Don’t allow sex to take #1 Priority – Although physical attraction in the initial stages of a new relationship is inevitable, many make the mistake of prioritising the sex above spending time getting to know the person they are beginning the relationship with.  This leads to making your partner feel like they are only a source of fulfilling your sexual needs. 

Don’t act cold - Not offering any affection at all will also lead your partner to think that there is no passion between the two of you.  It is important to find a medium that will leave your partner feeling secure within your relationship.  One too many “I’m not in the mood”s or other common excuses will end up making him/her suspicious and in the end, lose interest in trying all together.

Don’t bring in the family to soon – Introducing your partner to your family to early can not only be misconstrued by your partner, but can also bring unnecessary discomfort to both your partner and family if things do not work out.  In the early stages of a relationship there is no guarantee that the spark will continue beyond the first 3 – 6 Months.  Allowing your partner to become attached to your family and then coming to the realisation that you do not want to continue with the relationship is a situation that can be avoided if you had waited long enough to discover what you meant to each other before bringing in the family.

Don’t be fake – Do not act in a way as such that you think she/he wants you to in order to get into her heart.  It is important that you do not hide aspects of yourself because in the end, the secret will be out and your partner will either love you in spite of your bad habits or they won’t.  Either way, it is better to find this out early on.  You want your partner to love you for who you are, not for who you think they want you to be and if they don’t they are obviously not the right person for you.

Don’t dwell – Do not dwell on those little things that do not work out according to plan.  He/she’s not spending enough time with you? Do not spend excessive time dwelling on little issues, particularly if your partner is unaware of the heartache caused.  This will only end up making you resent your partner and sometimes there is no going back once you have reached that point.

Don’t bottle things up – 100% honesty is the only way to go in to a relationship and the most important policy to follow during it.  There is no point in tip toeing around resulting in unhappiness and not getting what you want.  The only way to have your needs met is to have your partner aware of what they are.  And if they are difficult to meet, then that’s when the doors to compromise are open.  Either way 100% honesty in your communication with one another is a necessity to a healthy and happy relationship.  Our partners may be able to see that we are upset, but they cannot read our minds.  It is up to us to let them know what is causing us upset or worry.

Whether your relationship is in the beginning stages or you are years into a loving relationship it is never to early or late for bringing the extra excitement in to the bedroom.  You can find an affordable range of Lingerie, Adult toys, accessories and XXX Dvd's on our website. www.confidenceiskeylingerie.com.au

Common signs of a cheating spouse

It is not always as obvious as finding lipstick on their collar or finding random underwear that doesn’t belong to you.  But more often than not, the signs of someone’s infidelity are there.  Here are a few signs that you might be missing.  With this being said, do not automatically assume that your partner is guilty of betrayal just because you are experiencing one of these points.  Generally there will be more than one sign of your partner’s unfaithfulness.

Sex? No thanks – If you and your partner have never had issues in the bedroom and he/she suddenly cannot be seduced, it can be a sure fire sign that they are getting it elsewhere.  Sexual appetite rarely changes overnight.  And if it does, there’s always a reason for it. 

Body Image Issues – If your partner is suddenly worried about their physical appearance when they were generally unbothered, but you now see them trading in the couch for getting friendly with a stair master, you might concern yourself with why they suddenly care about something that they have never worried about before.  One must ask, they know you love them for the way they are, so why the need for a tight ass or chizzled abs now?

Never wanting to spend time together – You once wanted to spend every second together sharing in mindless conversation and makeout sessions that could last hours at a time.  It didn’t matter what you were doing ranging from doing the dishes together to just watching TV, as long as you were doing it together and now they are avoiding spending time with you and prefers to be by themselves.  Or when they do want to be with you, it’s in a place that others will be.  This can be seen as cause for concern. 

“Overtime” – your partner all of a sudden becomes the most hardworking employee when they have always had the attitude of “9 -5 that’s me, I’m done.” This doesn’t automatically mean that your partner is cheating on you, but if they seem to be the only one putting in the hard yards without the knowledge of their co-workers, then there maybe something more to it.

Disappearing act – If you wake up at all hours of the night to find that your partner is not there in the bed beside you and hasn’t let you know where they are going or just generally acting weird or nervous then you will start to wonder why they are no longer being themselves around you and questioning what it is they have to hide.

Contraceptive Change – If you and your partner haven’t used contraception for years and all of a sudden condoms are being urged to be used or your partner has never used the pill and now you can find them religiously taken it the same hour of each day even though you have had a vasectomy…. Yeah things do not look good.  

Overprotection of phone – If your partner no longer lets you surf the net on his phone when he has never had a problem with, then there is a good chance that he is hiding something.

Always remember that there is no excuse for infidelity and that it is an unforgivable act.  If you would like to know the reasoning for this statement you can see my blog Once a cheater always a cheater.

Stress Management Tips

It is easy to get snowed under in the workplaces of today.  Expectations of us become higher and wages fail to increase to match the workload.  This can cause a tremendous amount of stress, particularly if it is already in your nature to do so.  However if you are in a job where you feel you don’t get paid enough to stress over your workload or not being able to live up to what is expected of you, chose not to stress by following these simple tips.

Change your response – You can choose not to let the office know-it-alls get you down and pressure you with jobs that they are no doubt capable of doing themselves.  If it is less important than tasks already on your to do list, then inform them that they will have to wait or alternatively if it is that important they will have to take care of it for themselves.

Prioritise – The ability to determine what is urgent and what can wait is of most importance.  Learn to prioritise and accept that you are only human and there are only so many hours in a day.  Start each day with the most important and work up to those tasks that aren’t so essential.

Don’t be afraid to say no – If your in tray is already piling up in the direction of the ceiling and you cannot possibly take on anymore, do not be afraid to say no.  If this is looked down on in your workplace, try seeking help from others in the office that are not so busy.

Find light in every situation – Find a reason to laugh every day.  If you find yourself starting to stress take a step back and do something for 5mins that is bound to perk you up.  Do not allow yourself to reach boiling point.  This will minimise the effects of stress and hopefully help you avoid it entirely.

Plan Things to look forward too – Having something in the near future to look forward too can often relieve the effects of stress.  If you know that you have a reward coming, the never-ending workload seems easier to bear.

At the end of the day, nothing is worth the stress.  You have it in your power to avoid letting things make you stressed out. Take each day as it comes and do not force yourself to do any more then you can comfortably handle.

So, your partner is depressed…

Depression has a nasty way of affecting not only the person experiencing it, but the people that they hold dear as well.  Here are a few things to keep in mind as a partner of someone going through such a difficult time.  The time frame of this disease is different for everyone and at the end of the day support is all you can offer.  Find your own way of letting them know that you are there for them.  Consistency is admirable and significant in times such as this.

Moodiness – Depression can leave people moody, sad and irritable. Uncontrollable outbursts can happen at any moment. Unfortunately it’s all in the territory and is not to be taken personally.  Hopelessness can be a very frustrating emotion and can lead to unpredictable moods.  It is important to remember that a mood of a person does not define them, as depression does not define them.  They are still the person you fell in love with and something such as depression which is beyond control should not change this.

Lack of Sexual Interest – In times of serious depression anything more than sleeping can be a huge effort, so it is no surprise that sexual drive can be lost along with it.  Some use sex as an escape for the pain.  Others cannot get out of their heads long enough to enjoy something that once was so intimate.  Keep in mind that the ability to reach orgasm is also a common side effect of depression whether one has chosen medication or not.

Shut Down and Pulling Away – Day to day tasks are in themselves a challenge for your partner right now.  If you feel like they are shutting you out or pulling away from you, it is almost certainly not because they no longer love you or that you are the cause of their unhappiness.  It is more likely the result of them not having the energy to pretend they are feeling different then how they actually feel.  Do not automatically assume that you are the cause or that your efforts are not significant enough to take away the pain.  It’s higher than your abilities/influence at the moment.  

   

Depressing Atmosphere  – Depression can be a draining experience and this often rubs off on the people close to the depressed.  Take some time out for yourself.  Constantly witnessing your partners lows can often lead to feeling the effect yourself.  So be sure to take some time away from that atmosphere and do something you deem fun and fulfilling.

It is easy to give in to the belief that things will never turn around or change to the happiness that once was were discontentment now resides.  If you stay as positive as you can and endure the negatives, you will see that there is always light at the end of the tunnel; even though you are unaware of how fast you are going and therefore unable to determine how long it will take to get there.  A better day is just beyond the horizon of a day to come.

Common causes of depression

We have all experienced those dark periods in our lives where drinking the day away, sleeping as much as humanly possible, or doing something stupid or full of risk proves far more appealing then sitting in a dark room being trapped with our own thoughts, unable to shake or escape the pain.  There are many reasons that can lead to this dark place, but here are a few common reasons that can bring people down.

Opinions of others - Perhaps the most common cause of depression is the opinion of others.  At the end of the day, you do not need to be around people who make you feel bad about yourself.  Their opinion should be void because they obviously do not know you as well as the people who are in your life for no other reason then that they want to be.  These are the people worth listening too.  These are the people who know you, so it is their opinion that really counts.  Don't waste your time dwelling on the opinions of people who do not deserve to be of any significance in your life.

Opinions of ourselves - Often it is our own strict opinions of ourselves and where we think we should be in that particular point in our lives that get us feeling worthless and/or disappointed in ourselves.  It is important for our emotional stability to focus on all the things that we have accomplished in our lives and to remember all the amazing people in our lives that choose to be in it because they care about us and enjoy being around the person we are, even if all we can see are our own flaws.

Focusing on the negatives -  It is only human to see the negatives in our lives over the positives.  Some situations leave us in a need to be by ourselves which leads us to think too much, causing us to relive negative moments or look too deep into situations that manifest into a lot of "what ifs" and "maybes" that 9/10 times have no basis in reality.  Although it is hard to be around people when you are feeling depressed, it is more harmful to allow yourself the alone time to dwell on things that be, or more often then not, things that we convince ourselves that are.

Unhealthy workplace - Some may think that this is a silly reason to get down, but if you are unhappy in the workplace where you spend most of your time, it is no surprise that it is bringing you down in other areas of your life.  It is easier said then done to leave your work at work.  Yes it is vital to a living that we work, but it is also important for your happiness to fight like hell to work in a place that you can be yourself and feel appreciated.  In order to be happy in other areas of your life, you must also be able to enjoy the environment in which you spend most of your time.

Struggling with everyday necessities - It can often feel like all that hard work you do is for nothing.  Once pay day comes and bills chip at your hard earned cash, you often have nothing left to show for all the effort you have put in during the week.  Everyday necessities are expensive and you should not be hard on yourself if you find  yourself struggling to keep your head above water.  As living expenses rise and wages comfortably stay at minimum, it is no wonder that struggles are apart of your daily life.  You can only work so hard, do not place unrealistic expectations on yourself because of the realities of the times we are in.

We would all do well to remember that at some point in our lives, everyone has felt that they are not good enough or trying hard enough.  Do not be ashamed of these thoughts.  If you feel you need help, do not be afraid to ask for it.  There is nothing worse then bottling up depressing feelings.  Help is always there if you are strong enough to admit you need it and are not afraid to seek it.  Your family and friends will be supportive and try their best to help you in your time of need.  Sometimes this does not always do the trick, but remember that your doctor is always there to help you without judgement.  There is nothing shameful about admitting that you need some help.

For more useful information on depression please visit beyond blue.

10 Sex Tips for Women

1. Practice Foreplay – Some couples find themselves skipping over all the foreplay and going straight to the deed.  This means less excitement and less satisfaction.

2. Break Routine – Do not make the mistake of getting stuck in a routine.  The more spontaneous sex is, the more satisfying it is.  It is beneficial to remember that there is more to sex then an orgasm. 

3. Visual Stimulation – Stimulate your partner visually with sexy lingerie.  It may not stay on very long, but you will feel and act sexy wearing it and he will have fun taking it off.  You can find a range of sexy and equally affordable lingerie here.

4. Communicate – Tell your partner what drives you crazy beneath the sheets.  If you feel embarrassed doing this, settle for expressing approval when he/she does something that you enjoy.

5. Tease each other – Try prolonging your orgasms.  Make it last longer.  When you finally allow yourself to give in to the sensation, the intensity will be mind blowing. 

6. Sexy Shower – Get naked for a different reason and take a shower together.  The act of washing your partner is incredibly sensual and can often lead to a passionate sexual encounter.

7. Share your toys – It is surprising how much of a turn on it can be for couples to let your partner use your sex toy collection on/with you.  You can find affordable toys here.

8. Oral Sex Starter – What man doesn’t enjoy the feel of him inside your mouth? This is a sure pleaser for the opening act.

9. Read Aloud – Reading erotic novels aloud can be a great way to put you in the mood.  You will probably find yourself and partner laughing at the corniness, but may result in the need for a change of undies for you and the pitching of a tent in his as well.

10. Kiss! – Never underestimate the power of the kiss.