Breaking up with someone, or having being
left by someone can bring on so many different emotions. Not all of them are engaging. There are a few things to bear in mind throughout
these complicated times that will make it easier to accept realities and have you
heading in the right direction towards something brand new. If a relationship doesn’t work out for you,
then there is typically a reason for this.
Be honest with yourself and allow yourself to discover what these
reasons are. Do not throw in the towel surrendering
to an illusive idea that you were meant to end up alone. Things may get worse before they get better,
but they will work out in the end.
Time out - Take some time to yourself to reflect on
your current circumstances. Whether you
were the person to end the relationship or not, it is a good idea to take the
time to mirror what has happened. Let
out any residual feelings of anger, sadness or resentment. Take some time for yourself and do not be
afraid to cry and/or feel sorry for yourself.
Do not force yourself to be over an ended relationship whether it was by
you own choosing or not. Cutting the cord does not mean that it is any less painful or difficult to accept the reasons of your decision. Take the time
to spotlight what went wrong and what it is that you seek in any future
relationships.
Take it a day at a time - The longer you are with someone, the more
intense your feelings for each other become.
You become a part of each other and finding yourself separate from them
can be quiet difficult to re-adapt too. It
can leave you feeling like your world no longer makes sense. This can take time to feel normal again and
re-discover who you are without that person by your side. Do not put unrealistic expectations and time
limits on your healing. There is no
rush. Take each day as it comes and with
time, each day will become that little bit easier than the one before it.
No regrets - Regretting events of the past is
pointless. What’s done is done and you
have to open your eyes to the possibilities of your future. It will not bring any benefit to your life to
stew on regrets and will only leave you viewing things negatively, keeping you in that place of unhappiness. Keep positive thoughts and leave bitterness
behind and make the most of all those things in your life that you cherish.
Don’t fear moving on - Just because a relationship did not work
out does not mean that you have failed.
Do not be afraid to go down that road again. New relationships can be scary and some
people put up walls to protect themselves, but if you don’t let the bricks fall
down and allow someone in to really get to know you, then you will never
experience the excitement that comes along with meeting someone new. Not
everyone you meet thinks like the exes of your past, which means it doesn't necessary imply your past experiences will repeat themselves.
Talk it out - In a break-up, particularly a regretful or
unwanted one, emotional support is an important part of moving forward. After the initial time out from it all, talk
it out with your friends and family. Keep busy and avoid being in situations
that give you too much time to think about what has happened. This will only make you relive the occurrence
over and over again. Instead surround yourself with people who will refuse to let you see anything other than the reasons it did not work.
Trust you made the right decision (if you
opted out) - If you have made the decision to walk away
from your partner there is every chance that you have come to that conclusion for a reason. Whether it was a rash decision or one that you had been
thinking about for a while. Perhaps you
were feeling like you deserve better, were over the lies, feel out of love with
that person, distance was too much to bear, or just merely that you and your partner wanted different things
in life and you didn't want to give up your dreams and sacrifice what you
wanted for the sake of someone else. Break-ups happen for many different reasons
and at the end of the day, the cause is rarely unfounded. Do not let your ex
make you feel guilty or question what you want.
Everybody deserves to live life the way they choose, not the way someone
else wants them too. It is your life and your heart and if you are not happy with who you are with, then what is the point?
It is not the end
of the world (if your partner opted out) - There is one reassuring way to look at a
relationship that has ended without your control or approval. You have to ask yourself, “Why would I want
to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me?” Everybody deserves to be with someone who couldn't imagine life without them by their side. Do not grovel or over grieve for someone who
does not feel this way about you. And perhaps most importantly, do not contact
your ex. This will only prevent you from
taking the necessary steps to move on to the next chapter of your love life. You may not see it yet, but something new and
electrifying is on the next page waiting for you when you’re good and ready.
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