Tips to escape a rut

Pulling yourself out of a rut is not an easy thing to accomplish.  If you're experiencing a rut that is preventing you from living your life to the fullest, here are a few suggestions to escape.

* Determine what is the cause of the rut.  This is not always easy.  However, it is necessary to escape the rut.  Be honest with yourself and find the courage you need to admit the changes that you need to make in order for things to change.  Eg: Are you in need of a job change, rehab centre or even to end a relationship?

* Break the habit.  Often it is the creature of habit in us that keeps us stuck in ruts.  Ruts can be mistaken for comfort, however they leave us less capable of adjusting to change when it does happen. It is both healthy and necessary to constantly partake in things that break the routine.  This includes alone time spent outside of working hours.

* Be aware that living your life by the motions will inevitably cause a rut.  If you are aware that living life on auto pilot causes those unwanted ruts in life then you know that shaking things up a bit is necessary to avoid them.

* Try new things.  Make the effort to do new things that you normally wouldn't do.  If you can't change the routine of your work life, expand your social circle and night / weekend activities to those of which you haven't yet tried.  Plan trips that you have always wanted to take.

* Lastly, know the signs.  Recognize when you are beginning to feel a rut coming on and make the effort and do whatever necessary to stop it from happening.  It is easier preventing a rut then getting out of one.

The first time you say "I Love You"

Saying “I Love You” for the first time in a relationship is a big step.  Many people pro-long revealing their feelings for fear that it may be too soon for their partner to hear and that it is going to freak them out or scare them off.  Here is some advice for those who are thinking of expressing the three magic words that are the basis of every novel Nicholas Sparks has ever written. These three simple words can make way for many avenues in a relationship.

Take the risk – A significant thing to remember when you reach this point in your relationship is that there is no time frame for how long it takes someone to fall in love and more importantly there is no rule to who goes first.  When you feel it, you feel it and there is no need to keep your partner in the dark about it.  Make the choice to take a leap of faith and disclose your feelings.  There is no greater emotion then the knowledge that you are loved.  Once these words have been said, there is no going back so make sure you mean them. Do not say it for any other reason than to let your partner know how you feel.

Don’t expect the words returned – With the previous being said do not let the fear of not having the words returned discourage you from letting your partner know how you feel.  Just because they are not quite there yet, does not mean that they don’t care about you or that your relationship is not heading in the right direction.  Some people take longer to trust and open up to how they feel and therefore may take longer to instigate their emotion.

Spontaneity – Spontaneity is perhaps the best way to reveal your love for someone.  Let the feeling build up inside of you to the point where your subconscious can’t even keep it within. Like the best life has to offer, it is rarely planned.  If you find yourself having to stop yourself from saying it on a regular basis, it is most likely a sign that it is time to tell your partner know how you feel.  If it comes to mind so often you have to censor yourself, you obviously mean it with all of your heart.

And finally, Repetition – The “L” word is a delicate matter.  Once it has been let out of the bag, there is expectation - (particularly with women) to be reminded of these feelings.  Do not think just because you have said it once there is no cause for it to be uttered again.

Once you have expressed your feelings with words, remember that your actions need to match.  Loving someone is more then vocabulary and it is important to show your partner you understand this.