5 habits to avoid in a relationship

1. Self- impairment – Sometimes there are so many awful things in our world that have us believing that when something goes right for us, just around the corner is the big bad ugly disasters that seem to find us no matter where we go.  You have to believe that your relationship is forever.  Bringing positive vibes to your relationship can only help it.  Leave the negativity behind and deal with the disasters when they come to you.  Do not spend your relationship expecting it to fail or be attacked by obstacles.

2. Jealousy – Your partner is always going to have friends or acquaintances of the opposite sex (or same sex depending on your personal attraction).  It is important that you do not let jealousy restrict your partner from his/her right to their own friends.  Just because your partner is polite to or acknowledges someone you may see as a threat, does not mean that there is actually anything to suspect.  Expecting little everyday occurrences to mean more then what they are is detrimental to your relationship.

3. Ignoring the outside world – When you are in a new relationship sometimes it is hard to see outside of it.  But it is important to remember those people who have great importance to you outside of that romantic relationship.  Friends and family are still of value. It is important for both parties in a relationship to have their own lives and contacts outside of what you both share. 

4. The social media trap – Relationships are a lot of hard work and often contain speed bumps along the way.  Whining about your problems to the whole world is no way to solve issues.  It is poison to a relationship when a disagreement or personal argument goes viral.  No solution will ever come from airing out those times that are less than perfect.

5. Loss of communication – Point #4 brings us to the equally important point #5.  One way of avoiding those speed bumps is to communicate to each other.  If your partner is doing something that is hurting your feelings it is them that need to know, not your Facebook or twitter friends.  Your partner is the only person who can change what it is that is being done to upset you.  Don’t just talk to your partner about those light hearted topics.  Part of a healthy relationship is being able to talk about those things that really matter, even if they cause a little discomfort at the time of the discussion, they will do wonders for your relationship in the long run.  

A Magnetic Island Adventure

Last weekend found me on the shores of Magnetic Island at the ever so generous hands of my bestie Estelle.  I had never been to Maggie Island before, however East had known that there were things to be ticked off my bucket list that the Island had to offer.  So for my upcoming 28th birthday I was treated with the gift of "memories."

On Friday morning East picked me up armed with her ginormous suitcase and matching baby suitcase, both on wheels and accompanying her blue mono-fin that was just begging to get in the water.  It amazed me that we were able to fit my three bright pink bags in her mini white bug with her luggage and not have the car door open lights flashing at us all the way to Townsville due to physically not being able to shut the doors.   

We stopped off at Cardwell to stretch our legs and enjoy the view of the beautifully blue day from the jetty. On the way back to the car East made me stop walking and keep my back to the water. After near blindness from staring in the direction of the sun, I was instructed to to walk sideways out on to the jetty and then after I was positioned to her liking I was asked to turn around. To my surprise and excitement "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANN-MARIE" was written in the sand. I felt like the luckiest midget in the world. 

After a couple hours of "Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows" stuck in my head we got to Townsville and naturally our first stop was to the bottleo to source us some Bundaberg Rum!  As we carted our bags to the Ferry terminal we both feared being told that we had too much luggage to take aboard the ferry.  Anybody would think we were going to be staying in Magnetic Island at least two weeks with the amount of stuff we were armed with.

To my surprise we ended up at a perfectly chosen little guest house at Arcadia Beach.  We were led to a huge tent housing two single beds, after passing a toilet, shower and kitchen.  My kinda camping!  The guest house was perfect for both of us with it's creature comforts (perfectly me) displayed with a homie old fashioned boat theme (perfectly East).  We went walking along the beach as the sun went down while East got up close and personal with the sand.... with her face. LOL The first night was filled with much laughter, plenty of rum, pathetic attempts at playing pool and last but not least a smashed wine glass.  

The next day we caught a bus to The Forts.  We worked up a sweat exploring the historic WWII gun placements and infrastructure.  I was fascinated at the thought there were brave men who were once on those same grounds prepared to fight for our country.  We even had the pleasure of admiring a couple of Koalas in the trees overhead.  To my disappointment, I was appalled to see the lack of respect adolescents of today's society had for our history demonstrating they had not given a second thought to defacing the ruins with graffiti. That night found us at The Stage Door Theatre Restaurant.  Chicken dinner, Comedic Musical, Grease tunes, Gay performer... I was in heaven. 

On Sunday we found ourselves in Horseshoe Bay for the markets.  We had a lovely lunch in a elegant art food and wine restaurant.  Alma Bay homed my sandman "Sandolf." When you're fresh out of snow, compromise is the only answer.  I walked along the shore, climbed a few rocks, built my sand snowman, got my feet wet and after an hour i would've been quite happy to move on, but as I watched as East explored it was clear that she had sunk right into her element.  I even got in the water with her and battled the waves as seaweed made her long blonde hair home.  

After four fun-filled nights and five event-filled days, we headed back to Cairns on the day of my birthday with East never once letting me forget that the day was my day and constantly reminding me that life does not end at 28, even if my bones are frail! LOL. I could not have enjoyed anything more than the memories I will take away from an unforgettable adventure. 

Tips to escape a rut

Pulling yourself out of a rut is not an easy thing to accomplish.  If you're experiencing a rut that is preventing you from living your life to the fullest, here are a few suggestions to escape.

* Determine what is the cause of the rut.  This is not always easy.  However, it is necessary to escape the rut.  Be honest with yourself and find the courage you need to admit the changes that you need to make in order for things to change.  Eg: Are you in need of a job change, rehab centre or even to end a relationship?

* Break the habit.  Often it is the creature of habit in us that keeps us stuck in ruts.  Ruts can be mistaken for comfort, however they leave us less capable of adjusting to change when it does happen. It is both healthy and necessary to constantly partake in things that break the routine.  This includes alone time spent outside of working hours.

* Be aware that living your life by the motions will inevitably cause a rut.  If you are aware that living life on auto pilot causes those unwanted ruts in life then you know that shaking things up a bit is necessary to avoid them.

* Try new things.  Make the effort to do new things that you normally wouldn't do.  If you can't change the routine of your work life, expand your social circle and night / weekend activities to those of which you haven't yet tried.  Plan trips that you have always wanted to take.

* Lastly, know the signs.  Recognize when you are beginning to feel a rut coming on and make the effort and do whatever necessary to stop it from happening.  It is easier preventing a rut then getting out of one.

Marti Gras 2014 - Experience of a lifetime

This weekend found me escaping on an adventure to Sydney.  Ever since I was in high school I wanted to experience the fabulousness that becomes Oxford Street, year after year for the celebration of the Marti Gras Parade in Sydney. This year after over a decade of dreaming, my best friend East and I finally got there and it couldn't have met my expectations any more than it did. 

After an expensive taxi ride with an inexperienced driver in the chaotic Sydney traffic, we arrived to our hotel an hour prior to check in.  After they took a $20 key deposit we were introduced to budget backpacker accommodation to its fullest, complete with unmade beds, lack of air con, and a communal bathroom and toilets. We took a blocky so that the house keepers of The George Street Hotel could attend to making our room presentable. I felt a little embarrassed that I had picked the hotel, with it's appeal being extremely affordable and in the general vicinity of the street to be on! Surprisingly the room radically improved with simple comforts as little as made beds and fresh towels. My highlight of the room was that we had our own window with a view. It was a charming sight of an old style brick wall belonging to neighbouring buildings and a rickety old tin roof, but a view none the less. 

After an early dinner we arrived a good three hours before the parade actually begun to secure our spots along the front fence line so we wouldn't miss a moment of the experience. The event was pumping way before the floats made their appearance with team members hyping up the crowd in anticipation of the fun to really begin. 

Entire streets were blocked off with the help of police officers as thousands of people lined the sidewalks of Oxford St to watch as fantastic dance beats screamed from speakers of floats with countless out and proud people feeling the music and expressing their sexuality openly with a justified sense of pride on and around the extravagantly made floats. Groups of people hung the pride flag from their balconies as others sold them to spectators on the street. There was countless rainbow flags, crazy and colourful outfits, stunning drag queens, a celebration of same sex love and a mind blowing parade that tied them all together.

There was something for everyone: dykes on bikes, drag queens, mermaids, marching

bands, nuns, superheroes, leather daddies, lifesavers, fairies, go go dancers, federal police, navy, army, airforce, Delta Goodrem and to our pleasant surprise even an appearance of the ever so nerdy DR WHO and Star Trek fans out there, one of which was standing right beside me. I got an elbow to the arm that almost led to me poking out my own eye! We watched on as giant pink daleks passed us by with signs reading, "Exterminate Homophobia!"  It was nice to see the same excitement on Easts face as I got from drag queens or same sex couples outwardly being free to express their love for one another without judgement. 

After hours of standing on our feet unable to move (thanks to an ever so considerate mother pushing her daughter in between us even though she had lacked the patience to arrive early for good viewing) it didn't stop me from smiling like a Cheshire Cat at such an overwhelming display of equality. Unlike my legs, my camera gave up on me well before the parade was over.  Disappointing our inner party animals that enjoy a nice glass of rum and coke and a side of floor shaking music, we got some refreshments and retreated our tired selves back to our hotel. Even our eyes were tired from ogling at the gorgeous men of Sydney who made wearing contacts from 4:30am well worth it. There's some things a girl just can't not notice. 

Sunday found us at China Town, Darling Harbour, Tumbalong Park, Chinese Garden of Friendship and a free bus ride later, at Circular Quay. After taking in the spectacular view of the Sydney Opera House and the Sydney Harbour Bridge we enjoyed a nice lunch and had iced coffees as we watched the gentlemen pull out their umbrellas to guard their girls from the rain as the seagulls enjoyed showering in it. Such a small gesture that reminded me there was still romance in the world and that maybe chivalry wasn't completely dead and to my surprise, even that it could still possibly be just around the corner.

We managed to successfully use the train transportation to get ourselves back to the airport. Krispy Kreme and Boost Juice made the wait for our flight back to Cairns more bearable. I sit here now ignoring the slight rocking motion of the aircraft 30,000 feet up in the air and I look back on the entire trip as a wonderful confirmation that love is still very much the heart of life and that gay or straight, you owe it to yourself to open up to it completely.  Even if you've been unfortunate enough to have been hurt in the past, or have people looking down on you for being guilty of nothing more then being true to yourself.  If you are yet to find the love that lights your life, or the courage to pursue it, one guarantee is that no matter who you are or what your differences, you are worthy of it. 

I hope you all had an extremely Happy 2014 Marti Gras and that the sense of pride and freedom to be yourself doesn't just wash over you for the duration of the parade and Marti Gras celebrations, but ideally that it lasts you a lifetime. 

Little Ideas to Make Valentines Day Special

On a day such as Valentines Day small gestures are all it takes to make your partner or love interest blush with admiration.  Here are a few little ideas to spark your own imagination leading up to this Valentines Day.

• Make a card.  The cornier the better.  You can use sayings such as "We're a perfect match" and use a match box with only two matches left inside.  Google is a great source for easy and effective ideas.  The fact that you made the effort to make something from scratch is sure to impress.

• Make a book out of a deck of cards titled "52 Reasons why I Like/Love you."  Write different reasons on each card.  Bind the cards together with a ribbon and personalize the decoration of each of the cards.  

• Make heart or X and O pancakes for breakfast in bed.  Toast with heart shaped icing sugar also works a treat.  If you want to get really creative, try your hand at a heart shaped pizza for dinner!

• Create a collage or scrapbook with photos of you as a couple.  Plaster it with hearts and pictures of you and your partner in those moments that found you happiest and most in love.

• Share a bubble bath with heart shaped confetti, candles and incense burning.

• Plan a movie night with a collection that your partner loves, even if you are not in the least bit interested. 

It can be easy to get caught in the trap of taking someone for granted, even if it was never your intention.  Showing  your love every day of the year should be a given, but it's not always something  shown wholeheartedly.  Valentines Day is the day you can make the effort that every other day may have been lacking.  You don't have to spend extravagant amounts of money to make the day of the one you love.

Tips For Men on Online Dating

Joining up on a dating site can often be a daunting experience.  Not everyone knows the things that they should be aiming for and the things they should try to avoid.  Here are a few tips aimed at the guys out there who are trying to have a fulfilling and successful experience in the online dating world.

• Don't use pet names. Ie Babe, Sweety, Love, Hun, Sexy, Scrumptious etc.  Not everyone takes well to being called these kinds of nicknames.  Nicknames should be developed over time when you get to know the person.

• Read the profile of the person you are interested in.  This gives you the opportunity to discover if you are compatible, have things in common, or are generally interested in them beyond the physical.

• Take note of the intent of your interest.  If you are on the dating site for different reasons do not waste the other persons time.  Don't ask for a random hook-up if it clearly states on their profile that they are seriously looking for a relationship.  This will save not only your time, but theirs too.

• When responding to emails or messages do not make the other person do all the work.  Questions go both ways and not taking the time to ask questions about the other person leads them to believe you are only interested in them getting to know  you.  The whole point is getting to know each other.

• Always leave messages that can be responded too.  Often responses are not given to blunt answers or messages that do not lead to more conversation.  Recipients can easily lose interest if they feel they are not getting anything in return and appear to be doing all the work.  If you are not a great conversationalist on screen then your potential partner will be envisioning one LONG date if they ever agreed to go out with you.

• Take note of what is said in conversations.  Nothing makes someone feel more special then a person referring to something that they said a few days ago.  It shows genuine interest from the person talking to them.

• Leave the more personal questions for when you have been speaking for a while.  Respect that some people take longer to be comfortable getting into the more intimate details or even giving out their mobile number.

The Sex Bucket List:- 20 Things to do sexually

Almost everyone has a bucket list, whether it be physically written down somewhere or safe in the confines of their minds.  More often then not there is a item on the list that has a sexual nature.  Here is a bucket list solely meant for those naughty things in life that just can't be missed. 

1. On a running washing machine or dryer – Make washing your clothes erotic and get down and dirty while they are busy getting clean.

2. Have sex in the rain – Take a romantic kiss in the rain that one step further and create a new meaning to getting wet.  Slip and slide anyone?

3. In a tent – You’re in the middle of nowhere with the wilderness of the unknown just outside a flimsy material wall. Show em whose boss with your screams.

4. In your office – Wait until you’re the only one in the office and invite your partner to christen your desk... or better yet, your bosses!

5. On a water bed – Remember how fun it was to be on a water bed as a kid?... now imagine making love on it!

6. On an air mattress – Try not to squeak so much you wake up the people in the same room.

7. Under the stars – Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star......

8. On a trampoline – Hey, they were designed for fun!

9. At the drive in – Be daring and get it on in your car knowing you are surrounded by other cars. Movie? What Movie? :)

10. On a rooftop – You've tried sex under your roof, now try sex on it.

11. On a boat - Nautically Naughty! Time to rock the boat :) 

12. In an elevator – Get him up while you’re on your way up :) See if you can get him/her off before you reach the floor you need.

13. In a bouncy house - Colorful, big, bouncy and fun... No-one can resist stepping inside a bounce house and going wild.  

14. On an aeroplane – Start your next holiday of with a bang and join the mile high club.

15. Have a threesome - Hot, Hot, Hot.

16. Use a sex toy on someone else – Add a little buzz to your love life.

17. Have a one night stand – Spend the night with someone you don’t know. A one night stand can be a pleasurable experience filled with thrilling excitement.

18. Have sex with someone younger – Every woman should have sex with a younger man. Their energy and enthusiasm will make you feel younger than ever.

19. Sex in a foreign country (with a foreigner) – Find a new way of communicating. Sex is a language we all understand.

20. Be a sexual slave for the night – Have your partner command you with sexual requests for an entire night. Everything that’s asked you must do.

How To Avoid The Drunken Dial

When you're out on the town with your friends or just having a girly cocktail night at home, it can be hard to resist the urge to call your latest crush or ex boyfriend with the new found confidence that has emerged with your alcohol consumption. These calls can leave you with regret and embarrassment for days after when you have slept off your drunkenness. Worst of all, sometimes you don’t even remember what was said. So even if something of significance was discussed you would not be able to remember it anyway. This can be particularly regretful or embarrassing if the person that you have drunk dialled was sober at the time of your slurring conversational skills. Drunk dialling can be extremely difficult to avoid, but here are a few suggestions to help you with the avoidance.

1 Control your drinking. Number one is quite obvious. If you control the amounts of alcohol you consume you will have better control of your actions which will ultimately mean better judgement calls and hopefully these calls will stop you from getting stuck in the drunk dial trap.

2 Entrust your phone to a friend. Choose a friend who will be able to keep your phone safe. It also has to be a friend that won’t give in to your pleas. This person should be someone who is capable of determining what calls are genuinely important. Your phone should not be returned until you have awoken and sobered up the following day. The phone carer must also be someone who is responsible enough not to lose your phone either.

3 Leave your phone at home. If you know that you have no self control and that your friends give in to your whining way too easily, sometimes the only answer is to leave your phone at home. Make sure that your friends have access to their phone or a public phone so you are able to call a taxi or designated driver to come and get you at the end of the night or early hours of the next morning.

4 Delete problem numbers. Sometimes you have no option but to have your phone on you in case of emergencies. Try writing down problem numbers from your phone before deleting them so that it is impossible to drunk dial certain people without first finding the piece of paper that you have documented their number on. Potential drunk dial receivers are anyone you may have feelings for, your ex or anyone you are mad at.

5 Phone Applications. There are several different apps that have been created for your phone to stop you from making this mistake. Check out the options that are available for your phone type to help you prevent making yet another drunken call.