5 habits to avoid in a relationship

1. Self- impairment – Sometimes there are so many awful things in our world that have us believing that when something goes right for us, just around the corner is the big bad ugly disasters that seem to find us no matter where we go.  You have to believe that your relationship is forever.  Bringing positive vibes to your relationship can only help it.  Leave the negativity behind and deal with the disasters when they come to you.  Do not spend your relationship expecting it to fail or be attacked by obstacles.

2. Jealousy – Your partner is always going to have friends or acquaintances of the opposite sex (or same sex depending on your personal attraction).  It is important that you do not let jealousy restrict your partner from his/her right to their own friends.  Just because your partner is polite to or acknowledges someone you may see as a threat, does not mean that there is actually anything to suspect.  Expecting little everyday occurrences to mean more then what they are is detrimental to your relationship.

3. Ignoring the outside world – When you are in a new relationship sometimes it is hard to see outside of it.  But it is important to remember those people who have great importance to you outside of that romantic relationship.  Friends and family are still of value. It is important for both parties in a relationship to have their own lives and contacts outside of what you both share. 

4. The social media trap – Relationships are a lot of hard work and often contain speed bumps along the way.  Whining about your problems to the whole world is no way to solve issues.  It is poison to a relationship when a disagreement or personal argument goes viral.  No solution will ever come from airing out those times that are less than perfect.

5. Loss of communication – Point #4 brings us to the equally important point #5.  One way of avoiding those speed bumps is to communicate to each other.  If your partner is doing something that is hurting your feelings it is them that need to know, not your Facebook or twitter friends.  Your partner is the only person who can change what it is that is being done to upset you.  Don’t just talk to your partner about those light hearted topics.  Part of a healthy relationship is being able to talk about those things that really matter, even if they cause a little discomfort at the time of the discussion, they will do wonders for your relationship in the long run.  

Tips for Moving in Together

Moving in together for the first time is a big step. It opens your eyes to your partner’s imperfections, which may have gone unnoticed when you were living apart. Irritations may occur during the initial stages of the move. Try your best not to take them out on each other.  This is something that you are in on together.  Here are a few tips to make the transition unproblematic on you both.

Ground Rules – Set out the ground rules in the early stages so that you are both aware of what each other consider acceptable and unacceptable to ensure that you are not treading on each other’s toes.

Budget – Before you take the leap be sure to work out a budget that you are both willing to stick too. Divisions can occur if the expenses keep falling on one person.

Alone time – Moving in together gives you access to each other 24/7. But you do not want to be in each other’s faces all the time. To guarantee that you do not get on each other’s nerves, it is important that you take some time out for yourself. Do not expect to be constantly at each other’s side. You each have your own hobbies that should not be neglected because you are no longer living apart. Give each other the space to continue being you.

Get out of the house – Just because you have now got a place of your own, does not mean that you still can’t get out of the house together. Do not allow yourself to be stuck in a rut. Doing your own thing is essential, but you must also be willing to make the effort to spend time together outside of your new home.

Respect privacy – Respect that some things are private. You may be sharing a place, but this does not mean that you cannot still have the privacy you are entitled too.

House Work/cooking – Divide the house work and the cooking between the two of you. Do not expect your partner to do all the work. It should be a combined effort.

Share the decorating – Re-decorate your house together to express the visions of who both of you are. Have fun with it and let your new house express who you are individually as well as put across both of you as a couple.

Communicate – If you are not happy with something occurring in your new place, be sure to talk about it. Remember that nobody is perfect, nor are any two people the same. You have to be willing to compromise to keep a happy environment alive. Expect differences and disagreements to occur as a result.

Keep it interesting - Do not stop making effort in your relationship.  You can find affordable lingerie and accessories here for your partner to appreciate.

Do not be afraid to open yourself up to a new adventure.  Moving in together can be a scary thought, but if you respect each others needs as an individual, it can also be a fulfilling experience for you both.

Building Trust in a Relationship

Trust or emotional safety in a relationship can often be a very difficult emotion to master, particularly for those who have been hurt and/or betrayed in previous relationships.  Time does not always heal wounds of our past.  Regardless, the fact of the matter is that trust is the basis of any relationship.  If you cannot trust someone you cannot have a healthy relationship with them, as these trust issues will end up destroying the relationship. It may not happen right away, though slowly but surely it will be what breaks you apart.  In order to be in a happy relationship you have to be willing to work on a mutual trust.  Here are a few pointers in building trust in your relationship for those of you who find that trust does not come naturally to you.

Be Honest – Number one rule in building trust in a relationship is merely to continuously be honest with your partner.  If your partner senses that you are being deceitful this will make it harder for them to trust you.  We do not always like what we hear but it will be a comfort to know that honesty is applied in every instance.  There is no room for secrets or lies in a healthy relationship.

Communication – Express your needs and feelings on situations with your partner.  If jealousy occurs let your partner know how it makes you feel.  They are then aware of your feelings and will take measures to let you know that there is nothing to worry about.  Give your partner a chance to set you straight and always be clear and completely honest about how you are feeling and listen carefully to their concerns in return.

Don’t hold your partner accountable for others actions – As much as you wish you could control every situation, it is unrealistic to believe this is possible.  Do not hold your partner accountable for others actions in any situation no matter how hurtful.  Your partner cannot change anyone’s feelings or events anymore then you yourself can.

Be reliable – In order for someone to surrender to trust they need to know that their partner is reliable.  If you say you are going to be somewhere, be there.  If you say you are going to do something for your partner, do it.  If you can rely on someone it makes it easier to trust them.

Don’t go to bed angry – Never let issues go unresolved.  If trust issues or jealousy occurs between you and your partner do not try and avoid the issues.  Although the conversation may not be desired it is mandatory to address them before they get even larger.  Resentment stems from feeling unheard or failing to deal with a problem.

Forget the past – Do not compare new relationships to the old ones.  Just because your previous partner may have hurt you, does not mean that your new one is even remotely capable of making the same mistakes.  Do not lay that burden on them; it is not their burden to bear. 

Remember nobody is perfect - Acknowledge that nobody is perfect and that happenings can often be different to how they appear.  Discover and compliment your partner’s qualities.  Belief in each other will facilitate trust building in any relationship.

Love is all about losing yourself in your feelings.  Take the leap and have faith that everything will work out the way it is meant too.  Building trust is not always easy and requires on-going work to keep it afloat, but it is important to remember there is no point in worrying about something that may never come to pass.  Live in the present and appreciate the happier moments of life. 

We would love your thoughts on this article. Please leave your comments below.