7 Stages of Grief

1. SHOCK 
Losing someone you love can be one of the most excruciating things that come with life.  You find yourself looking down on your body in such a state of shock that you find yourself numb to the reality and on some level even denying the truth merely out of disbelief.  This is an emotional security that gets mournful people through the initial heart-wrenching pain.  There are no set times for these stages in the grieving process as everyone’s experience is different. But this state of denial can last weeks.

2. PAIN
Sooner or later the reality will take over your primary shock and denial and be replaced with near unbearable pain.  A lot of people make many bad choices to break away from this pain and feel anything else.  Alcohol and drugs are not the solution to this stage.  It is crucial to your grieving process that you feel the blunt of your loss and feel the full extent of what has happened.

3. ANGER & BARGAINING Frustration comes next and causes no shortage of anger.  You may lash out and blame others for your loss.  It is important to do all you can to control this.  There is no point in causing permanent damage to your relationships with the people who are still with you. Find other ways to release your bottled up emotions.  Bargaining with a higher power also occurs during this time.  Your faith becomes apparent as you beg the powers that be to bring this person back to you, all the while making promises and bargains that you wouldn’t otherwise be considering.

4. DEPRESSION A long phase of reflection and sadness follows the anger and bargaining.  Perhaps because you realise that not even a higher power can bring this person back and that you have no choice but to go on with life alone.  Depression is a normal stage of the grieving process and should not be avoided.  People may try and get you out of this stage, but it is important that you take the time to accept what is and process it to its full extent.

5. THE UPWARD TURN Your depression will begin to fade slowly once you find yourself adjusting to a life without the person you have lost.  Life will eventually become easier and structure will return as you come at peace with your loss.

6. RECONSTRUCTION  When you begin thinking realistically and more clearly again you will be able to see solutions to problems that have arisen as a result of your loss.  You will start to reconstruct your life to continue without your loved one.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE The final phase in the seven stages of grief reward you with acceptance and hope for your future.  Acceptance does not promise immediate happiness, but given the rollercoaster of emotions that you have experience during your grief, it is important to remember that if you can get to this point after that, then a way forward is at arm’s length.  It will never be okay that someone is gone, but it does get easier.  Eventually you will find yourself in a place that you can look back on the memories of your loved one with a smile on your face as opposed to tears in your eyes, a place that brings hope for a redesigned future.