6 Signs your relationship is over

Do you find yourself in a relationship where you need to think of the good memories of the past in order to justify your relationship in the present? Or are you clinging on because of the uncertainty of what will happen next if you walk away? Maybe you’re afraid that you will end up alone as a consequence of your actions?

For all of us, the choice to leave someone is extremely difficult. Some of us are so hurt by the truths of our current situations that we begin living in a false reality just to make the relationship bearable to continue. This is anything but healthy and will not fix what is broken or lost. Ultimately breaking up is a part of growing up and helps us discover what it is that we want in a mature lifetime commitment. Having several different relationships is how we determine when we have found the right person. Sadly not everyone we date is going to be compatible with us long term. Here are a few signs that could indicate your relationship is not on the right track. Recognizing the signs could make your decision that little bit easier to bear.

1. The spark has burnt out – It is not a good sign when the butterflies disappear and you no longer feel the same way about each other. The spark is what differentiates you from merely being friends, as opposed to lovers. It holds the attraction you have for one another and once that attraction is gone there is no longer anything there that separates you from friends’ status. If your partner makes excuses not to be physical with you, or is only physical for his/her own needs and not the least bit concerned about what you want or need then the spark may have been lost. If a spark cannot be rekindled, then there is almost certainly a reason it is not meant to.
2. You start expecting each other to change – The point of a relationship is to enjoy the other person for who they are. If you find yourself wanting to change them, or alternatively if you find that your partner is trying to change you then odds are you really shouldn’t be together. We all have quirks that annoy others, but if they bother your partner so much that they feel the need to change you, then they do not love you as much as they should. This is often a realisation not long after the honeymoon period wears off. Remember that unconditional love is the only love worth fighting for.
3. When unhappiness overrides the pleasure – Undesirably sometimes a fading relationship can leave you feeling frustrated, upset and miserable more than feeling excited, contented and carefree. If there is more bad then good, then you are only dooming yourself to a life of unhappiness. Everybody has the right to unlimited supplies of the best life has to offer and if you are not experiencing this in your current relationship then you should perhaps find one where you can. Do not let your hope that this will change be the reason that you cling to what may never be there.
4. Emotional, physical and verbal pain – There is no explanation for abuse of any kind. When your partner crosses that line, there is undoubtedly something wrong in your relationship. If your partner has abused you in any way whether it be physical abuse, verbal abuse, or just emotional hurt, it is unmistakably time to walk away. There is no point being in a relationship that is a constant battle to you emotionally or physically.
5. Reoccurring issues – If you cannot spend time with your partner without either of you picking a fight or insulting one another then it is more than possible that neither of you have anything left to say to each other. If you have addressed the motive for your fighting and still continue to struggle about it then chances are it is just one of those things that cannot be compromised on. The reality is you deserve better then someone who is always making you feel like a failure and attacking you personally.
6. No time for each other – If your partner was once very attentive, putting you up on a pedestal and always making you number one on his/her list of priorities and has started making excuses for why they cannot spend time with you, it is most likely a sign that their heart is no longer in the relationship. If it appears that they have stopped making effort in your relationship, do yourself a favour and do the same. If you continue to make unreturned effort you will end up resenting the person for it and in the end you will burn out and stop caring yourself, being left wondering what it was you were fighting for in the first place. Save yourself some heartache. It takes two to make a relationship be successful and if only one party is doing all the hard yards, then it is not going to work. Both parties need to want to be together for a relationship to succeed and no matter how hard you try; you cannot make somebody want something that they don’t want. Besides, why would you want to waste your time with someone you have to convince to spend time with you?

If you are having doubts about your relationship then there are more than likely justified reasons for this. Do not waste their time or your own. Listen to your heart, be honest with yourself and do not stay in a relationship that is not right for you merely because of fear or avoidance of a difficult life altering decision. Seek advice but do not take others opinions on as your own, unless they are what you truly believe. Only you can know in your gut what the right decision is, and it is you who has to follow through with it.