Monday, January 7, 2013

6 Don’ts in new relationships


New relationships can be among the most exciting times of your life.  Embracing the excitement of getting to know someone and all the nervous tingles that come along with it. Unfortunately with the initial uncertainty involved during this time, they can also be a matter of delicacy and can end up faltering due to bad treatment.  Here are a few mistakes commonly made in the beginnings of a connection.  These don'ts will be useful to those who are trying to create something meaningful and long lasting.

Don’t allow sex to take #1 Priority – Although physical attraction in the initial stages of a new relationship is inevitable, many make the mistake of prioritising the sex above spending time getting to know the person they are beginning the relationship with.  This leads to making your partner feel like they are only a source of fulfilling your sexual needs. 

Don’t act cold - Not offering any affection at all will also lead your partner to think that there is no passion between the two of you.  It is important to find a medium that will leave your partner feeling secure within your relationship.  One too many “I’m not in the mood”s or other common excuses will end up making him/her suspicious and in the end, lose interest in trying all together.

Don’t bring in the family to soon – Introducing your partner to your family to early can not only be misconstrued by your partner, but can also bring unnecessary discomfort to both your partner and family if things do not work out.  In the early stages of a relationship there is no guarantee that the spark will continue beyond the first 3 – 6 Months.  Allowing your partner to become attached to your family and then coming to the realisation that you do not want to continue with the relationship is a situation that can be avoided if you had waited long enough to discover what you meant to each other before bringing in the family.

Don’t be fake – Do not act in a way as such that you think she/he wants you to in order to get into her heart.  It is important that you do not hide aspects of yourself because in the end, the secret will be out and your partner will either love you in spite of your bad habits or they won’t.  Either way, it is better to find this out early on.  You want your partner to love you for who you are, not for who you think they want you to be and if they don’t they are obviously not the right person for you.

Don’t dwell – Do not dwell on those little things that do not work out according to plan.  He/she’s not spending enough time with you? Do not spend excessive time dwelling on little issues, particularly if your partner is unaware of the heartache caused.  This will only end up making you resent your partner and sometimes there is no going back once you have reached that point.

Don’t bottle things up – 100% honesty is the only way to go in to a relationship and the most important policy to follow during it.  There is no point in tip toeing around resulting in unhappiness and not getting what you want.  The only way to have your needs met is to have your partner aware of what they are.  And if they are difficult to meet, then that’s when the doors to compromise are open.  Either way 100% honesty in your communication with one another is a necessity to a healthy and happy relationship.  Our partners may be able to see that we are upset, but they cannot read our minds.  It is up to us to let them know what is causing us upset or worry.

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