Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

This article is for those of you out there who have been cheated on and are left wondering if you can forgive and forget such a deception.  The feeling you are left with after someone cheats on you, is quite likely one of the lowest feelings that you can possibly feel.  You are left feeling worthless, betrayed and devastated.  You have never felt so low in your whole life and the only thing that you should be asking yourself is, if he/she loves me, would they do something to put me in such a dark unshakeable place?  The answer is NO.  You obviously love this person more than they do you.  Simply put, you deserve better.

It is easier to let go of someone after such a betrayal, then to find it in yourself to forgive them for something so horrible.  Many would argue that sex is just body parts, particularly men, but the truth of the matter is if you really care deeply about someone and are serious about your relationship with them than you wouldn't have it in yourself to cheat on them.  How committed can someone be to deceive the person they supposedly love?  The situation in which the betrayal happens is irrelevant.  If you find yourself unable to stop a temptation from manifesting into reality, then you are not fully committed to the relationship that you are already in.

After a betrayal, the trust you once had is completely shattered.  Trust is something that takes time to begin and takes longer to re-discover then to initiate.  If you cannot trust someone you are in a relationship with, then you will find yourself questioning where your partner is, who he/she is with and what he/she is doing.  This is no way to live.  You will always have that doubt in the back of your mind that your partner is playing up on you.

Do I believe that once a cheater, always a cheater? Well in my opinion, if the foundations in a relationship are not solid enough to prevent an initial occurrence, then I think the connection between two people is not what it is meant to be in a committed relationship.  Cheating is a breaker, in which once broken, cannot be repaired.  Regret of a betrayal is not enough to repair or excuse the damage that has been done.  If you feel that you can forgive your partner for something so hurtful, then you must also be capable of the forgetting as well, or it will eventually tear you apart.

Ultimately it is a personal decision to forgive and forget, however love is an overwhelming emotion that takes you over completely and everyone deserves a love that lives up to that.  You will do well to remember this next time you find yourself wondering if your cheating partner deserves a second chance.  With the right person this kind of love is out there.  You owe it to yourself to guarantee that you don’t settle for anything less.  If you are not enough for someone then they don’t deserve any part of you.